MENU
bishop-eddie-long-pictures0 (1)

Home » Uncategorized » Bishop Eddie Long Anointed King, and the Church...

Bishop Eddie Long Anointed King, and the Church Say… Negro Please!!

So it’s Groundhog Day and I heard Puxatawney Phil looked out and saw the GOP field. Yep, four more years of Obama. Of course this might be great news for Democrats or anyone riding the anti-Romney train; but, I’m not sure if four more years of president Obama really means anything. Oh no, not that I’m suggesting that he hasn’t done any good, or that four more years of Obama is bad for America.

Nope, never that; instead, I’m just wondering how the already minimal power of the president will be usurped by the King of the United States. Oh, you haven’t heard?

There’s a new King, and yes, he does live in the United States. More importantly, or I should say most importantly, he is a Black man. Oh, and would you believe it? He’s not even the King of Pop, the King of R&B, or even the Blues. Not sure why he’s a King, but he is and we must embrace him.

OK, see, I’m going back to bed now because y’all Black folks play too much. No seriously, some of y’all church folk take this stuff too serious. You mean to tell me that Eddie Long is now a KING? No seriously, he is now anointed as the KING of… er, umm… Atlanta? Zamunda?? The King of the Black Church?? The King of burgers??? What, is this what’s poppin’ in Black churches these days? Fucking performance art?!! What’s next? Passing off pole dancing as praise dancing?

And did they really carry this Negro around on their shoulders like Strage from the movie Boomerang? Didn’t this fool just settle a civil suit for $15 million over some alleged gay pedophile shit? Oh you thought we forgot about the extra-smedium muscle shit pics?

I’m all for forgiveness and all that, but this shit right here… No disrespect to my friends down in Atlanta, but y’all Negroes have gone down hill since they took away Freaknik, and y’all are obviously bored as fuck. . But hey, maybe unlike Obama, King Eddie Long will bring that awesomely awesome Negro festival back. Hell, somebody has to clean the royal penis, right? I just hope the congrgation at New Birth doesn’t wind up in Africa all dead after some grape-Kool Aid-drinking mass suicide shit. Because at this point, this ain’t church, this is a damn cult of foolishness and fuckery.

It ain’t gonna be funny when dude starts wearing a sparkling lace-front and starts calling himself Jesus.

Previous post:
 Next Post:

Written by:

Published on: February 2, 2012

Filled Under: Uncategorized

Views: 48

  • Lastnatv

    It aint all of us down here in the A, Rippa. Some of us have normal suit wearing Pastors with their own hair. This thing is just way out in left field, sincerely praying for those folk out in Lithonia before it turns into the new millennium Waco, TX.

    • Anonymous

      Proverbs 6:16-19  Galatians 5:19-21 It`s in your manual.

  • http://commentarybyvalentina.wordpress.com/ Val

    Lmao@King of Zamunda. That’s what Eddie Long should be king of, a make believe Kingdom.

  • Anonymous

    Well, now that the “foreskin has been lifted”, I say, let him be wrapped in the scrotums of Righteousness with his ol’ “just got my scroll printed at kinkos and scotched taped together” ass. I mean if dude is gonna pay some dude off to do this nonsense he can atleast hire someone who really is Jewish.

    But yeah, what disturbs me most is how this whole little ritual is being used as a scapegoat for what he did. By being given a “New Birth” and a “New anointing”, he’s essentially being excused without them saying it explicitly, all on the claim of it being a divine blessing from god; and all without culpability he’s never owned. If there’s anything “new” about that place, it’s the “New Jamestown.”

  • http://www.curvygurlchronicles.com Melzie

    Shameful. Is it me or did Eddie have a “I can’t believe these kneegrows are buying this ish!” look on his face?

  • http://twitter.com/JohnnyACE562 GRAND MASTER SEN$Ei {{-_-}}™

    This is NOT a Christian church. {{o_0}}

  • Krownbb

    it’s so very very vey sad how easily people are misguided…. PLEASE READ THE BIBILE AND PRAY    (accept Christ, first, as your personal Lord and Savior)

  • Reggie

    I prefer to call him Bishop Eddie “doo doo on his schlong” Long.  I truly feel sorry for anyone foolish enough to follow this man.

  • http://twitter.com/thee_stupid the_stupid

    That’s just so many types of wrong, such a bastardization of everything a church should stand for. And how dumb do have to be attend or support something like that?

  • queengotti71@gmailcom

    Excuse me Ga Peach in the building…these pastors are doing the Eddie everywhere!!! And freaknik is soooo 1995!!!catchup, we other exclusive things poppin off now…Its designed for out of rown groupies like u cant be involved…..Exclusive….ATL in the buildinf….

    • http://rippdemup.com/ RiPPa

      Is that you, Nene? Sheree?

  • thepoliticalcat

    I used to read your blog YEARS ago (I’m pretty sure it was you, I remem ber you being pretty damn outrageous); and then real life intruded, and two computers later, I had lost all my bookmarks. I see you’re still around, that’s great, and I’m glad we reconnected. You’re still funny as fuck-all, too.