Yesterday I was just talking to my very good friend (fŭng'kē) [blak] [chik] on the phone about her dating escapades in the DC/Maryland/Virginia metro area. That woman had me rolling on the floor because of some of the shit she was saying about the men up there. Seriously, you foklks should read this blog in particular that she wrote the other day: A Midget In A Micro-Mini
I've always told her she was picky when it comes to men. To which she said that she most definitely was. After which I told her that I knew she was bourgeois; her and I have an ongoing joke about her uppity ways. But its not just her, as a matter of fact, I pretty much stereotype all DC/VA/MA as being bourgeois anyway. I know some of you reading this are from that area, and like my friend would say that the men up there are a trip. But are they really?
Now I could be wrong, and please tell me if I am. But I believe that women, Black women in particular, have a tendency to become very picky as they move up the socio-economic ladder. Am I right? Of course I am; RiPPa is never wrong (LOL). And in becoming the uppity bourgeois bitch [insert giggle here] they tend to limit themselves when it comes to dating. And usually when they do, they've become so much that they look for every detail to discredit the dude who comes a calling.
My girl was tellin me how she went to a club with a dude she met recently, only to notice he was wearing a hearing aid while they were on the dance floor. I laughed. Something about a deaf person dancing at a club made me laugh. Yeah I know, I'm twisted like that, and its sad. But I laughed even harder at the image she created in my head in describing dude dry humping her leg trynna get some at the crib after wards. I could only picture her face as she kept looking at the hearing aid.
But this blog isn't about my friend, its about women in general. Like I stated before, I think a lot of successful women are single because they're looking for, or waiting on the lord to send them a good man. Well, what exactly is a real man, or a good man? And why are you waiting on the lord to send you one? I mean, obviously since I'm not a spiritual or religious person, I had no idea that God was the one who ran Eharmony.com. I never knew God was in the matchmaking business. Sure he created the heaven and earth, so why should I think any different. But to say that you're waiting on him to send you a good man would imply that he has sent you bad men in the past, no?
I mean, surely your choice of man, or your character had nothing to do with the men you've attracted. Yup, you played the hand that God dealt you, and dealt with that no good dude. Its all God's fault. God made that imperfect or fake man as well did he not? Yes he did. So wouldn't that imply then that God himself is flawed and imperfect? I mean after all, he's the one sending out men and women right? I mean, isn't he the one responsible for the men that comes into your lives? And having said that, isn't that the reason some of you continue to fuck with no good guys until the good one comes along. You know, kinda like the lady looking bored in the pic above?
So in closing I'll ask again: What is a real man? What makes a man real and not fake, and hence a good man? Is there some extra chromosome that I don't know about that genetically impacts said man rating? And if God is the one responsible for these men walking the earth, and he made us all in his image, wouldn't that mean that God is fucked up too?
The Personal is Political: No Wedding, No Womb Pt. II
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22 Responses to “"I'M WAITING ON THE LORD TO SEND ME A GOOD MAN..."”
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A hearing aid is fine, it's the attitude with it that distinguishes a man from a real man.
February 5, 2009 6:49 PMA good man is a responsible man, a decent person who doesn't use aggression or sarcasm.
Actually that would go for any human being.
HA!! I'm going to kill you!!
February 5, 2009 9:29 PMLMAO!
But yeah, I'm picky as all hell...want to know why? B/C I don't ask for anything that I can't bring to the table myself.
Yes, he had a hearing AID, but that wasn't the only issue I had with him....lol..shit if I was a money chasing type of person, he'd be perfect..makes over $200K a year, owns several homes, single, no kids, never married, a body like WHOA..but still..if I can't enjoy the conversation, then there's no need for us to converse .
Alot of women are looking for men to 'complete' them...I'm looking for someone to compliment me. Not to sound cliche, but the Yin to my Yang...and I refuse to settle for someone who's not in my socio-economic circle. Been there, done that & I'm not trying to pay any bills for a negro. Also, yes, I'm superficial, as so are men. No, I don't want anyone that has a stomach so big I can take the circumference of it! Plain & simple..If my ass is at the gym, they should be too.
So right now, I'm perfectly find being single and having my share of options. I refuse to settle for some pseudo intellectual with bad ass credit. Or some man who thinks that super sizing my meal is a treat..lol!
I'm picky and I have every right to be.
This post was funny as hell, and with the head picture on it really makes it even funnier. Sure enough there may be more upwardly mobile black women who are single, because they are picky. But let's not forget the upwardly mobile black men who are picky,too? Some even go as far as to date outside their race the moment they make over 6 figures a year. That leaves some of us black women hanging below on the totem pole. I just believe that if both black men and women who are high on the socio-economic ladder gave each other a chance, not only would they be happy, but equal in finances as well. But it's all a matter of when the day comes that they both can see that for themselves.
February 5, 2009 11:34 PMthe picture above says it all... can't a girl get a feed?? men are increasingly hound like..
February 6, 2009 2:59 AMi was on the bus last night minding my own business and i could feel the eyes of two 'yardies' on me.. now i am according to my dear mother...a bona fide 'oil painting' and a good catch (if it weren't for my locs!).. i put my nose further in my book to the point where i was not actually reading it.. the staring made me so uncomfortable... had the men just come out and hollered then i could have politely put them out of their collective misery.. but they just stared and started talking in patios thinking i would not understand.. my parents are jamaican.. i was born here in the uk..
it got worse.. my phone rang.. i betrayed my relative mastery of the english language.. that was it for them.. the two fools kissed their teeth and then proceeded to talk about me even more until.. i looked them both dead in the eye.. that was it.. they shut up - just like that... wish i had given them my 'death unto thee' look earlier.. but am not about to get into an unseemly row with a man/men on the bus at night...
am 43 by the way... they must have been 25 at a push.. smh..
it's the same world over.... men basically have become silly boys while women are getting their shit together..
my father instilled in me 'never to depend on a man for anything...' so i do not.. you should see me take a vacuum cleaner motor apart..!!!
Eventually, everyone settles for someone a little bit less than what they think they're worth, because everyone thinks they're worth a little bit more than they actually are.
February 6, 2009 2:19 PMThe ones who can admit it to themselves are the ones who end up in long-term marriages. The ones who admit it to their spouses are the ones who end up in divorce court. But only the ones who leave their egos at the altar end up truly happy.
You didn't get to pick your mother, but you love her, right? When you pick a partner, you're taking the first step towards making a family. You didn't get to pick the family you've got now, but you love them anyway. That's what kills me about dating these days. It's all about picking who's best, instead of about making it work. You'd think there were 6 billion distinct species of human on this planet with the way people get so damn picky all the time. We, as a society, need to get over ourselves.
And that was my deep thought for the day.
I like this blog! The fact of the matter is that if more people would focus on being the best and "Most Real" person they could be and not worry so much about those ar ound them we would have a lot more Real Men" out there! Keep on thinking and keep on speaking! LOL!
February 6, 2009 4:25 PMMeant to get over here yesterday when i saw the title - still did not prepare me for the picture - WHERE THE HELL DID YOU GET THAT SHIT?
February 7, 2009 2:03 AMYou are beyond "off the chain."
I don't think you ever had a chain.
All that being said - I remember those days.
You didn't care if she was asleep, tired, sick, late to work - didn't matter til Willie got wet.
Rippa, I gotta say this - it ain't about uppity women being picky, and I'll tell you why.
February 8, 2009 9:05 AMI was born and grew up in DC, and as an adult, lived between there and Maryland near DC. Even in high school and the years shortly after that, the brothas had a saying and loved to say it: There's a 7 to 1 ratio of women to men and they wanted their 7.
Heh-heh. The ratio was a myth, but it didn't matter since so many folks acted like it was true. It was so bad a lady named Audrey Chapman or something like that had a radio show on "man-sharing".
It was so bad that in my early 20s, I set a rule of no sex until me and a guy had been out on 10 dates. I didn't get fucked for year.
That was a tough year...
Lol.
And yo, didn't matter whether the ladies were looking for college grads (there are TONS of those in the DC area) or a guy with a high school diploma or in need of GED: seemed like all the niggas were trying to be version 2 or 3 of Superfly.
Things began to change in the 90s... not a lot, but enough to notice. That generation of young guys were more open to relationships, and girls 10 and 15 years younger than my crowd were getting married.
To this day, the overwhelming majority friends my age - men and women, most successful, all straight, have never been married. We chalk it off to the times and place we were raised in: DC.
I think women and men should be selective of who they hook up with and choose to date. I think it would cut down on a lot of the shinanigans and fuckery we all run into. I do however think that being picky should have some limits unless you just enjoy being single. Because once u start turning people away before they speak because he has a mole on his cheek or his teeth aren't as white as you'd like, then you've become something other than picky, you've become an asshole and you're destined to be single.
February 9, 2009 7:13 PMAnd I also believe that God does provide the right mate for people when they are open to recieve it. When they stop looking for who they think is right and listen to their GOD then and only then when you find a "real good" man/woman. What you want isn't always what you need.
When I first saw that picture my first thought was....can't you wait til she finishes eating?!? But hey, maybe that dude is a multi-tasker himself?!? At least he and his friend with the camera were kind enough to feed her ass!!!
August 10, 2009 8:17 AMThis won't be a popular opinion...just like most of mine. But I honestly don't feel sorry for attractive women that complain about their men. I just don't and I'll tell you why, attractive women get to pick their men. Everyone in this world doesn't, but attractive women certainly get to pick. So if they picked a loser..........
By the way, I hope that I never have to wear a hearing aid because some mean people will end up blogging about my deaf ass!!!
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