[Editors Note: I am extremely honored to have this contribution from the sister SjP from the blog Sojourner’s Place. As usual she brings forth her sage-like wisdon with this piece. I hope you folks enjoy the piece. And fellas, I sure hope y’all pay attention.]

I’ll bet you my neck and I ain’t got but one, that John Ensign and Mark Sanford are down on their knees right now thanking the every supreme being known to man for Michael Jackson right now. And while I mean no disrespect to the King of Pop, you just got to know that Ensign and Sanford were probably cutting big fat checks back then to help defray the costs of the recent memorial and funeral ceremonies. If they weren’t then they should have, because – at least for the time being – they have been able to dodge the bullet.

But, if either one of these two men was married to a “different” kind of woman, they would probably be sleeping with one eye open and cooking all of their own meals. A “different” kind of woman would have them so afraid right in through here that they would be afraid to say “good morning” let alone go on international television to apologize. APOLOGIZE! I GOT YOUR APOLOGIZE – a “different” kind of woman might say.

I mean a different kind of woman might have a Waiting to Exhale burning up all your clothes moment. A different kind of woman might have baby oil pouring pure ass-whooping This Christmas moment. A different kind of woman might have an OH HELL NAW grits bath –Madea’s Family Reunion moment.

So, just in case, RiPPa, you have readers that are hooked-up with a different kind of woman, I offer…

SjP’s Top 6 Ways NOT to Come Face to Face with a Hot Grits Bath:

#6. If you hook up with the wife of your assistant – then you might just come face to face with a grits bath.

#5. If you apologize to your wife as an afterthought for screwing around – you might just come face to face with a grits bath.

#4. If the beautiful and suggestive love notes you wrote to someone other than your wife becomes public – then you might just come face to face with a grits bath.

#3. If you tell the entire world that you’re going on a trip to fall back in love with your wife – then you might just come face to face with a grits bath.

#2. If you ask your wife to go with you to break up with your soul mate – then you might just come face to face with a grits bath.

#1. If you tell the entire world that your soul mate is other than your wife – then you might just come face to face with a grits bath.