Listen, all you people trying to get to heaven after Hey’sus comes back need to be reminded of one thing: There’s surveillance tape outside of those pearly gates that will be used in your judgment. That’s right, you cannot escape the surveillance tape folks. You know, sorta like the clowns you see on your 10 o’clock news robbing some convenience store or bank? I’m sure that right now some guy is currently sharing a cell with Bubba and being anally raped on occasion all because he was caught on tape.

Yeah, in this digital age you cannot get away with anything. Hell, in some places you run a red light and then you get a ticket in the mail with a picture of you digging your nose, as you’re car dancing to some Barry Manilow as you zoomed through an intersection. Period point blank, you can’t get away with anything anymore.

Yep, not even you Glenn Beck…
Now a guy is entitled to change his mind, right? Of course. But when you cry on national TV and get people riled up running around with pitch forks and rope in Washington DC talking about “We want Amur’cuh back,” as they knock on the White House door furious over gov’t spending? And you actualy supported the bailout of financial institutions under Bush last year??

Tha’ fuck?!!

You were down with that, then?

For the banks??

But now against any spending to benefit everyday regular people??

Ordinarily I’d call this hypocrisy, but this time I’ll just say that obviously he forgot about the surveillance tape in heaven. But then again, I hear where he’s going is guaranteed to have him sweating more than Caster Semenaya in a game of strip poker.