By Mike Caccioppoli
Look folks, there are lots of important things that are about to go down. The Republicans will try to pass some wicked shit, Obama will veto it. There will be numerous people announcing their candidacy for President. The state of the union is a few weeks away. There will be plenty of things to talk about. Some very important things. What I don’t need to hear about anymore, not one more time, is that nothing ball named Sarah Palin. This is the very last time I want to write about her. Got it?!
I don’t care that her kid stepped on a dog. I really don’t. Kids do this all the time. He is 50 pounds soaking wet and has down syndrome. The huge dog wasn’t in any distress. People do all kinds of weird shit with their animals. They dress them in horrific ways, they make them chase balls endlessly, they put crazy photos of them online. They don’t train them right half the time, and on and on and on. I truly don’t give a shit about Palin or her dog. In fact any dog that would be a friend of Palin is no friend of mine!! If it had any sense it would do everything it can to escape in the middle of the night.
See how silly this all is? How inane?! Everything involving this woman is stupid. No wait, not just stupid but as the great Lawrence O’Donnell would say..stoooopid. She is an attention loving whore. There is no nice way to say it and even if there was I wouldn’t say it. When you give a whore attention they continue to pine for more. It’s never ending. I know if she is reading this she is getting excited by every word. The problem is that the media won’t stop giving her attention. They love the reality show. It gets ratings. So they keep talking about dumb shit that doesn’t matter and the public makes it worse by splattering it all over social media.
This is a vicious cycle. We are about to get the off hand comment, surrounded with that meaningless Palin word salad, that says she is considering the possibility of running for President. You know it’s coming, in 3..2…..And when she says it, the men who run the media outlets in the country will masturbate under their desks and go with the story as though it has meaning and substance. You and I will know it’s just the whore doing as the whore does, trying to keep herself in the spotlight.
People who have no business being on television will pretend she matters. Once again. “Does she really have a chance?” Some idiot talking head will ask. Mark my words. Come back to the column once it happens and let everyone know how brilliant I am. It’s actually pretty easy to predict. It happened in the 2012 election cycle even though you and I knew she would never, ever run for President. Ever. That would take work and Palin despises work. She likes easy fame and easy money..like..um..a whore.
I can’t use that word enough to describe Palin. I’m sure you have noticed. I hope it doesn’t offend you. There really is no other word that works. If the media, both mainstream and not so mainstream, would stop covering her every move, I could stop using that word because I could stop writing about her too. Do you think there is any chance of this happening? I have to say that I did think that shortly after the 2008 election, the media would stop caring about her. But this is where I have to give Palin credit. She knows where she lives. I mean, it isn’t France or Germany or even Canada, it’s the USA, where low brow crap plays and plays big. So she worked them well and they went for it. Couldn’t do it if Americans didn’t eat this shit up, but they do.
In normal nations they don’t get it. Maybe I belong in a normal nation. I can explain it but I don’t really get it either. She is a huge empty shell of a human being. A black hole of a person. There is really nothing there. No heart, no soul, just crass commercialism. In a way that makes her perfect for this country.
You see I didn’t say whore this time.
I’m going to take my own advice now and just shut up.