Dr. Ben Carson: "Hands up!! Don't shoot!!"
Dr. Ben Carson: “Hands up!! Don’t shoot!!”

Rupert Murdoch said that Ben Carson would be a “real black president.” The implication is that Obama isn’t “black enough,” as evidenced by the suffrage within the black community. Which ironically is the same position held by many black people.

I don’t know whether you agree with Murdoch or not. However, what I do know is that with Murdoch being the father of racist FOX News, and the owner of the newly produced negro-friendly television show “Empire” – that y’all love so much – it’s obvious that Rupert Murdoch “knows” and loves black people.

This obviously explains his support of Dr. Ben Carson being the republican presidential nominee for the 2016 general election. Let’s face it: aside from being a world-renowned neurosurgeon, Dr. Ben Carson is the realest black man in America. Okay, well maybe not the realest black man in America given that Samuel L. Jackson is still alive.

But, in terms of presidential politics, Ben Carson’s campaign savvy and level of no-fucks-given has been the blackest thing since Jesse Jackson’s afro and Rev. Al Sharpton’s perm.

I swear, Ben Carson’s candidacy and campaign, is sorta like the Willie Horton ad has come to life.

Yes, but this time in a good way for Democrats.

No, but seriously: have you been listening to the shit Ben Carson has been saying on the campaign trial? His love of Jesus and disdain for Muslims makes it easy for “certain people” like Rupert Murdoch to overlook Ben Carson’s ghetto-ness in the context of him keeping it real, and telling it like it is.

You know, the one quality upon which the black community place a premium?

I mean, think about it: Ben Carson is the realest black man to ever run for president.

This week, Ben Carson let us know that he has actually helped someone rob a Popeye’s – in Baltimore of all places – back in the day. Okay, so he inadvertently assisted a stick-up kid by letting said would-be thug that he really needed to focus his efforts on the 16-year-old at the cash register behind the counter. And, like a true O.G. Ben Carson was able to smooth do this while having a the barrel of a gun jammed into his side.

Oh, and just in case Ben Carson’s robbery exploits aren’t convincing enough. A couple of weeks ago, again on the campaign trial, Ben Carson told another story about him doing some ill shit as a kid and hopping fences while running from the police in Detroit.

Yep, Barack Obama smoked weed as a teen – I mean, who hasn’t? – but, has he ever robbed anyone? Has Obama ever had to endure the right of passage as do many young black men, that would be, running from po-po, like, ever?

Well, only Obama knows these answers. My guess is that even if he did, unlike Ben Carson, he isn’t black enough to talk about it while campaigning to become POTUS.

I’m telling you, folks. I think Rupert Murdoch is onto something here. We all know the Ben Carson rags to riches story. We all know that as an accomplished neurosurgeon not only can he split atoms, so too can he split conjoined twins. Which might be a big deal to some – shit, my little brother is a neurologist at Harvard; but it isn’t like he has ever had to run from the police like Ben Carson. Yep and neither has Barack.

With Ben Carson being from Detroit, he’s clearly the closest thing we’ll ever get to Malcolm X being in the White House. And this, my friends, is the stuff I love about America. Nowhere else on this planet could there be a black man beloved and trusted by white folks with the task of being the leader of the free world.

Shout out to Dr. Ben Carson – a true Detroit playa!

I bet he wears Gators…