Not that I ever really lost it, but Edward Snowden has restored my faith in America. Whether you regard him as a hero or as a “traitor,” as John Boehner called him for his revealing government secrets (secrets which are in fact perfectly legal). The fact remains: There is nowhere else on earth that a high school dropout without college degree can be employed at a job requiring top-level security clearance making $200,000 per year.

Say what you want about the NSA data-mining program, but this little tidbit of information about the guy should make you proud to be an American. I realize that given this information, one can be tempted to question the credibility of Snowden. I’m sure many of you have been wandering around aimlessly since the news broke wondering to yourselves, “Where the fuck did I go wrong in life?”

Edward Snowden aka Hong Kong Phoey
Edward Snowden aka Hong Kong Phoey

Okay, so maybe it’s just me who questions this. Yes, and maybe it’s just me who is waiting for Ashton Kutcher to jump out from behind the bushes to declare that we’ve been “Punk’d.” But at any rate, white privilege aside, isn’t it good to know that as shitty as the job market may be for many, that there is hope? I’m sure people working in the fast food industry protesting for higher wages around the country wouldn’t mind having Snowden’s job now that he’s gone.

WASHINGTON — As contracting firm Booz Allen Hamilton Holding Corp. announced it has fired Edward Snowden for releasing information on the U.S. government’s monitoring of phone and Internet data, Russia hinted it would grant him asylum if he asked for it.

The 29-year-old Snowden worked as an infrastructure analyst for Booz Allen.

The firm said it terminated Snowden on Monday “for violations of the firm’s code of ethics and firm policy,” according to a statement on its website. He was paid at a rate of $122,000, it added. (source)

I’m just sayin’, I don’t know who’s penis one has to perform fellatio; or, which cancer-causing-coochie one must pleasure to be given an opportunity like Snowden. But, let’s just say that I’m a little bit curious to know (?). I mean, now that Snowden has been fired by Booz Allen and there’s at least a new hob opening, wouldn’t you like to know? Surely many of you carrying the weight of student debts in this dismal economy would be interested. Especially when you consider that there are millions in America with top-level security clearance. Surely there has to be more like Snowden out there, yes?

The number of persons who held security clearances for access to classified information last year exceeded 4.2 million — far more than previously estimated — according to a new intelligence community report to Congress (pdf).

The report, which was required by the FY2010 intelligence authorization act, provides the first precise tally of clearances held by federal employees and contractors that has ever been produced. The total figure as of last October 1 was 4,266,091 cleared persons. See “Report on Security Clearance Determinations for Fiscal Year 2010,” Office of the Director of National Intelligence, September 2011.

In 2009, the Government Accountability Office had told Congress that about 2.4 million people held clearances “excluding some of those with clearances who work in areas of national intelligence.” (“More Than 2.4 Million Hold Security Clearances,”Secrecy News, July 29, 2009). But even with a generous allowance for hundreds of thousands of additional intelligence personnel, that estimate somehow missed more than a million clearances.

Likewise, one of the many startling findings in the 2010 Washington Post series (and 2011 book) “Top Secret America” by Dana Priest and William M. Arkin, was that “An estimated 854,000 people, nearly 1.5 times as many people as live in Washington, D.C., hold top-secret security clearances.” (source)

 

Hell, as a matter of fact, I can think of any number of people without degrees who would love to have a job at Booz Allen or any other company that makes a sizable amount of revenue from government contracts. I’m not sure if said job applicants may be interested in tapping anyone’s telephone. But you can best believe that many of them if given that opportunity, would not be snitching and having to resort to being on the run in Hong Kong. But if they do, they damn sure wouldn’t be as self-aggrandizing as Edward Snowden was in his interview with Glenm Greenwald.

The funny thing about he reactions of people who support Edward Snowden, is that none of them have fallen off the grid by going all Ruby Ridge on us. Yep, and none of them are buying homing pigeons to communicate with the rest of the world, or each other. Oh well, FREE TOOKIE WILLIAMS!

Watch the full interview below: