Did you hear the one about the mother of five who found her ex-boyfriend living in her attic some twelve years after breaking up with him? I read the story yesterday and figured there’s no way I’m buying this story. No seriously, there’s no way in the world someone can live in anyone’s attic without them knowing. Hell, I know people who have found rodents like the occasional raccoon in their attics. But a person? A live human being? Yeah, I’m not buying this one, folks.

There’s no way I’m going to believe that this woman had no idea that her ex-boyfriend was living in her attic for at most two weeks after being released from prison for stealing her car. Yep, and this is the ex-boyfriend with whom she dissolved a relationship with some twelve years ago. The same guy who couldn’t keep it together because of his drug addiction, and several run-ins with the law. The same ex-boyfriend who did some work on her house about a year ago, who wrote her from prison while serving time for stealing her car. Oh, and she wishes to remain anonymous as well?

ROCK HILL Tracy, a single mother of five children in Rock Hill, never considered reuniting with the 44-year-old man she broke up with more than 12 years ago, despite claims of a new lifestyle and other “jailhouse talk” he penned in letters to her from prison.

Drugs, followed by his decision to rob a flower shop, tore their one-year romance apart, she said.

“That was it,” said Tracy, who asked that her last name not be used. “I never looked back.”

But it wasn’t “it” for her ex-boyfriend, whom she discovered living in her attic Sunday morning, a year after he helped install new doors on her home after most of it burned in a fire.

Tracy, a nurse, spent Saturday with her children, ages ranging from 3 to 20, and “didn’t see anything out of the ordinary” when they returned home. After nightfall, Tracy sat in her bedroom using her laptop but couldn’t shake the feeling that “something just ain’t right.”

She heard strange noises and noticed insulation falling from the ceiling. Her older sons went to investigate but couldn’t find anything.

Around 2:30 a.m., the noises persisted and Tracy, unable to sleep, saw nails in the ceiling fall to the floor.

She thought “there was some poltergeist stuff going on,” she said.

Tracy called her nephew, who quickly came to the home and went into the attic. Her nephew walked to the far end of the attic, passing over a jungle of heating and cooling ducts, boxes, photo albums, toys, cassettes and a “timeline” of memories to find a man sleeping inside a heating unit.

Poltergeist stuff my ass, Tracy; you knew good and damned well that your ex-boyfriend was living in the attic. And you know what? I’ll go as far as to say that she allowed him to stay there; and, that she allowed her ex to “hit it,” from time to time. Who didn’t know about him in the attic were her kids. Yep, that’s what I think, and I doubt anyone can convince me otherwise.

And why do I feel this way? Well, read more from the Charlotte Observer.

Tracy’s nephew also noticed that the man was able to peek at Tracy through an air vent in her ceiling.

“It’s got me flabbergasted,” she said. “How can you look at someone through an air vent?”

Tracy said she thought her ex went to Charleston after his latest arrest and was just commuting to Rock Hill.

Instead, he had been sneaking into her house and living in her attic, a Rock Hill Police report states. He used coats for cover and slept inside the heating unit.

After being discovered Sunday, the man climbed out of the attic without giving any explanation for why or how he got inside in the first place. He walked away with a smile. By the time police arrived, he was gone and remains at large.

For Tracy, who hustles each day to get her sons to football practices and says she is away from home for almost 12 hours a day, it’s unnerving to think her ex, who she says hangs around at nearby drug houses, is still roaming the neighborhood.

Come on people, this is too good to be true. Are you telling me that this guy was able to get away and is still at large while she knows he hangs around neighborhood drug houses? Forget about the bullshit line about him peeping in on her from a vent in the ceiling; yeah, sounds to me like that was her way of communicating with him while the kids were asleep. Yeah, and he able to walk away a free man before the police arrived? I’ve heard of “people under the stairs,” but this is bullshit.