There are just some things that cannot be explained, nor can be rationalized by the average thinking person. Like, why was there a naked man eating another man’s face down in Florida? Yeah, forget about him getting shot and killed by the police. The real question: why the fuck did he choose to dine on, or partake in the meal that was another man’s face, and why was he naked? My God, was he a naked zombie?!!
You see, incidents or news stories like these, are what we aptly title as fuckery. Take the story of 40-year-old Johnny Media in downtown St. Louis, for example. Little Johnny had a run-in with the law, for one of the most unbelievable and albeit avoidable incidents ever:
ST. LOUIS (KMOV) — Police have arrested a man they say attacked the driver of a horse-drawn carriage then took the reins in downtown St. Louis Tuesday night.
Police said the victim was steering a horse-drawn carriage southbound on 8th Street between Chestnut and Market around 8:25 p.m. when he saw the suspect running toward him.
Authorities said Johnny Medina, 40, jumped into the side of the carriage and hit the victim in the head with a cane. Medina then took control of the reins and the victim jumped out of the carriage, according to police.
A witness in the area called police, who responded to the scene and followed the carriage.
Police said the horse, whose name is Harry, continued pulling the carriage and ran back to his barn at the St. Louis Carriage Company stables, located at 1000 Cerre Street. The carriage then crashed into and damaged a trolley bus on the parking lot.
Police said another employee of the carriage company ran out and started to remove the horse from the carriage to get it back inside the stable.
Medina then jumped down from the carriage and started punching and kicking the horse.
Police said the employee and witnesses pushed Medina to the ground and detained him until police arrived.
Now I’ve written about some twisted stories before here at TIOMAR; you know, like the guy who had sex with a horse, and the other guy who had sex with his neighbor’s dog. However, as sick and perverted as those were, to me, this one takes the cake. I mean, where exactly was this guy gong with the horse and carriage? Who does he think he is, Cam’ron? I don’t know much about St. Louis; however, I doubt there are chop shops in need of a freshly stolen horse and carriage. What, did he run out of bus fare? No really, where was this idiot going, and did he really think he could actually get away with it? Oh well, I guess that explains punching and kicking the horse once he realized he didn’t exactly hop into a cab. Hell, maybe he thought he had a flat tire or something?