When Eve first performed fellatio on Adam did she stare into his eyes just before she did it and say, “I’m only doing this because I love you.” I wonder if she actually said that? No seriously, I’d really like to know. I say that because this is what Black women are compelled to say when first, well, you know. And some of them don’t even do it because they think it’s nasty. Ok, yeah, so yes I know there are some “sisters” who are not bashful when it comes to oral sex; yes, I know this. But lets be real; it took like an act of Congress to get Black women to get down like that. I ain’t lyin! I remember when they would say that only White girls do that sort of thing.

So what does this have to do with Eve and being Black RiPPa?

Look, if the Black man was the original man, then why then would Adam and Eve not be Black. Everything had to start somewhere so I am simply saying that it was a Black man and woman who were the first to perform oral sex. Of course I realize that this is another one of those little known Black history facts, but trust me, I’m dead right with this shit. Further proving that they were Black is the attitude Black women have in regards to oral sex today. I’ve encountered Black women who wouldn’t have a problem lettin a brother hit it raw dog, but will not give him or anybody else some head. Yeah, they say shit like, “I’m only gonna do that with my husband,” or “That type of stuff is nasty!”

Obviously this is handed down from Eve. I mean, since Adam was like the president of the world, I can only assume that he was the one who instigated it. Yup, I think once Adam was enlightened after eating the apple, he did it as punishment. Lets be honest: this is why society is male dominated, right? Eve didn’t care for it too much; that whole ejaculation thing being new was something she never got used to. And this is why today, Black women are still adverse to performing fellatio. As well as shitty when brothers hook up with White women. Now, all we have to do is find out who was the first White woman to swallow and build a monument in her honor. After all, you know what they say…

“If you won’t do it, somebody else will.”

Oh yeah, and don’t even think to try and disprove what I say either. Uh huh, yeah I know some of you are wondering how I can explain Adam performing oral sex on Eve since she was forced. Well, I don’t know what y’all are talking about. Hell, everybody knows that brothers don’t do that type of thing. I mean come on, why would we; that shit is nasty.

QUESTION(S):Why is oral sex equated with some other level of love? Is someone supposed to love you more once you’ve gone the extra mile to place the sex organ of another into or on one’s mouth?