So, err — where was the internet when I as getting my ass beaten by my parents with extension cords, frying pans, and tree trunks? No seriously, y’all. I’ve been hearing all the talk about about a Texas judge who was caught on tape giving his 16-year-old daughter an ass-whoopin’. Television media is running the story, and currently showing excerpts from the now viral video, and labeling it as “disturbing.” Now, according to the story, Judge William Adams can be seen disciplining his daughter with a leather belt, smacking her about twenty times. The video has sparked outrage from online viewers, and has received at least two million views on YouTube. According to an interview with the mother and father I just saw on MSNBC, she was being punished for illegally downloading music on her computer after being told not too. As “disturbing” as it may look, I don’t see the big deal. Take a few minutes (8 minutes total) to check out the “disturbing” video:

So of course you may think downloading music online without paying for it isn’t a big deal – hell, everyone does it. But, err, her father is a judge (?); and, illegally downloading music is actually a crime. It is as much a crime as say, I dunno… selling crack? OK maybe not as big a deal as slingin’ rocks, but a crime all the same that will be magnified if committed by the daughter of a judge, no? Yeah, can you imagine being in his position and having to deal with the embarrassment of something like this? Of course you can’t; hell, you probably have problems with your kid right now. Even so,  you’re probably of the opinion upon seeing some of the dumb shit done by the children of other people. that they’re in need of an ass-whoopin’. That’s right: you’re a hypocrite. I mean, let’s forget the fact that the kid committed a crime. How about the fact that she did what she did after being told not to? Sure I know kids are known to do that. But, what are we as parents supposed to do? Are we supposed to ignore a simple act of disobedience, or treat it as an infraction warranting a time out? You know, that whole, “go to your room,” thing? Umm, does that really work?

I don’t know about you, but I never had the luxury of being put on time out, or being grounded. Nope, my parents didn’t believe in that television sitcom styled punishment. And, from talking to my friends, their parents didn’t subscribe to that either. We all got beatings, and we remembered them. More important than remembering those ass-whoopins, is remembering what we did to deserve them. Or, remembering not to do the same thing more than once. Personally, I’m grateful for my beatings. Without them, I can say that my life may have been different. It’s quite possible that I would have never realized the severity of consequences for my actions. Hell, even to this day at 41-years-old, I think twice about shit because of those beatings. Sure I’m a grown-ass-man; but even so, I’m always fearful of catching a Momma RiPPa beatdown for making bad choices.

Obviously, things are different today. Today as a parent, you not only have to be concerned about about your kids snitching on you to po-po. You also have to worry about them setting up cameras, or being greeted by Chris Hanson on “To Catch A Child Abuser”. We now have to worry if our kids, like Hillary Adams, will strike back an enact their vengeance by uploading an ass-whoopin’ to YouTube, seven years after the fact. It’s hardly not likely, but I think it’s a damn shame that I will be forced to beat my kids in the bathroom in my own house; hopefully, this is still the only room I am afforded privacy, and that is off-limits to cameras. I know, it’s pretty sad when you have to think like a criminal and not a judge when it comes to beating your kids. Now that I think of it, maybe me being put in time out as a kid would have been better. Yeah, dodging the belt buckle sucked.

I’m sorry, but if William Adams wasn’t a judge, and his daughter did upload the same video to YouTube, nobody would care. Also, a part of me believes that if William Adams was just a regular guy who worked at Dairy Queen, this video would not have been uploaded. But I guess with him being a judge, everybody is of the opinion that he’s above disciplining his daughter in this fashion. Oh how funny it is that we’re a civilized society.

It’s just too bad there were no caneras and the internet during slavery