I yearn to have you splayed
Radiating pleasure like
light from the sun.
First, let state from the outset that I may not know what the fuck I am talking about. On the other hand I submit that some will find at least a measure of truth within these few short sentences.
Simply put, a woman’s heart and genitals are usually intricately connected. When a woman’s heart is truly open to you, so are her genitals and when she opens herself sexually to you, she also opens herself emotionally. For many (not all) women, emotional, sexual, and spiritual openness are all part of the same ritual of trust, openness, and love. In fact, the deepest sexual experiences are the deepest spiritual experiences for many women.
This is partly why sex for sport, or sex with random strangers, is not such a big attraction for women. Doubt me? Well, how many women are lining up in front of glory holes (note: if you don’t know what a glory hole is, you shouldn’t be reading my blog!). Generally speaking, a man can stick his dick through a hole in the wall, and regardless who’s on the other side, he will find release. Her doesn’t even have to know the person on the other side. Remember: men (at least mediocre men) seek release, women seek fulfillment.
Most women open emotionally during intimate and loving sex. My experience has been that women just don’t want to open up like that to just any Joe Kneckbone. This is why a woman tends to fall in love with whoever she has profound sex with: her heart flowers open along with her vagina and she feels deeply for the man with which she has had great sex.
As a woman learns to surrender sexually, her emotions open and she feels the tow of the undercurrent of love — yours and hers. No matter what you say you’re feeling on the surface, deep down you want to give and receive total love, and guess what — so does she. Shit, she can feel your heart buried deep underneath all that anger and shame. She can feel her own heart deep underneath her own resistance and hurt.
Want her completely? Then practice surrendering with her until you both develop that capacity of surrendering as love. Practice surrendering until you both learn to magnify that love even in the messy mix and entanglement of the everyday dust of life: the boredom, the anger, pain, and all those superficial emotions that distract us from genuine presence.
To help her do this, remember her vagina and her heart are directly connected: treat her vagina as you would her heart… and vice versa.