I mean, why not the extreme stuff like catching a heart attack or a stroke while knee deep in some off-limits coochie? Or worse — said owner of the cooch themselves catching a heart attack or dying while doing the horizontal mambo. Trust me, as crazy as it sounds, that type of stuff happens more often than you think. As a matter of fact, I have a good friend who’s father died while having sex with his side piece. Not that dying is a better option, but having to live through the embarrassment of explaining how you tripped and fell into some pussy to your friends and family, might be a bit too much, that you wished you had actually died. But hey, don’t tell that to the wife of William Martinez:

GWINNETT COUNTY, Ga. -A jury awarded a widow a multimillion dollar verdict in a medical malpractice case involving a man who suffered a fatal heart attack during a sex act with two other people.

William Martinez, a police officer, went to a physician at the Cardiovascular Group in Lawrenceville after experiencing heart problems.

Lawyers said that the doctor should have recognized that Martinez’s symptoms were serious and should have sent him to the hospital for treatment.

“There was enough for him to make the call and to know that he should have sent this man directly to the hospital to get a stress test that clearly would have identified and diagnosed his blocked heart arteries,” said attorney Rod Edmond.

A few days after the doctor’s visit, Martinez went to a motel near Hartsfield-Jackson Airport to see a woman – not his wife – and another man for a sexual rendezvous.

Martinez died after having sex numerous times. The female returned from the bathroom and found him collapsed on the floor.

A Gwinnett County jury found the doctor negligent and awarded his widow a $3 million settlement. (source)

A lawyer representing the doctor said that Martinez was told to make an appointment the next day, but Martinez delayed.

Yeah, dying butt-naked in a hotel room after fucking off on your wife, has to suck. So what’s the moral of the story you ask? Other than visiting your doctor regularly, never leave home with dirty underwear; and, never get butt-naked anywhere your wife isn’t present unless it’s at the hospital or doctor’s office. No really, why take that gamble when there’s all this free internet porn?

The post Widow Wins $3M in Lawsuit After Cheating Husband Dies in Threesome appeared first on THE INTERSECTION | MADNESS & REALITY.

CORSET is the go-to magazine for all things sexuality. We embrace human curiosity. We honor sensuality. We celebrate sex. And we want you to join our movement.

So with that, I packed up my proverbial bags and headed on over to sign my professional life away. I have been working with a photographer for the past several month on creating what I hope to become a lesson in observation of erotic nudes of Black women.

We shot some images, I wrote an article and actually used spell check and read that bitch for errors twice and BAM!!

[imagebrowser id=4]I have been looking at porn since the age of nine and fighting the stupid ass conservative opinions of the Blacks I was unfortunate enough to have been raised around since I could form words (true story!).

We’ve never been on the same page, as I, a sexually enthusiastic and curious sort wouldn’t be made to feel ashamed of something that bought me and other people so much pleasure. They were talking, but I wasn’t paying that shit NO attention no matter how bad they felt at the fact that I wouldn’t feel bad about myself.

Physical interactions are like gifts to me, just think of me as a woman that naturally liked to give ‘feel goods’ to whomever I choose.

Overall, the response to my work has been very positive. I’m receiving emails and Facebook messages from my conservative Christian friends who wish they had the balls to do it. Much of the feed back has been that its about time for black women to enjoy self motivated boldness.

Trills Smith, my photographer always delivers images that are both tasteful and intriguing. I can explain any variation of sexual irony in society or sub-culture details and he gets it whether he’s personally invested in my topic or not.

What’s even more interesting is that we’ve got a decade of age span between us and we’re both growing as students of life through our work as photographer and subject.

His insight, comments, and questions are teaching me about myself, subjectively. And I’m sure he’s leaning a thing or two from the crazy shit that I’ve been throwing at him these last few months. We deliver sex and sensuality but if you only knew what goes on behind the scenes.

But they do say laughter is sexy….so…

Of course it would take a wandering Facebook voyeur who doesn’t know me very well to have the nerve to inquire about the well being of my daughter or any ‘children’ of mine (Ha!) who may see this in the future.

I’m concerned about their concern over my display of sensual thumb sucking and how it may affect the morality and future good social graces of my decedents.

So, how does my daughter feel about her mother’s blatant sexual display……?

She’s proud of me because I am ‘a kick ass sex positive Mom’ and my picture is ‘cool’.

She did blush momentarily. I did too, how audacious, right!?

Obtaining the cover of an international magazine is indeed, cool, but having a daughter who understands why I do what I do is even cooler. Having an adult daughter who is sexually freer and more knowledgeable than I was allowed to be is absolutely priceless.

Grab your copy of the upcoming Corset Magazine: The Oral Issue before it goes on sale July 1 and get a second past or future issue for FREE. Find out what I have to say about Oral sex, bask in the glory of several full color visual photo spreads and thigh clenching articles that will make you re-think the meaning of having a filthy mouth.

The post Kids and Sex: How My Daughter Feels About My Sex Work appeared first on THE INTERSECTION | MADNESS & REALITY.

One of the women in the group smashed a glass in CeCe’s face, cutting and injuring her. As a matter of fact, the glass sliced all the way through her cheek, lacerating a salivary gland. A fight ensued. One of the attackers, a 47-year-old male, died. CeCe was arrested and charged, and self-defense was not considered. By some counts, CeCe was denied proper medical care and was kept in solitary confinement for a month. The woman who initiated the incident and smashed the glass in CeCe’s face was charged nearly a year later; as far as I am aware there is no acknowledgment of a hate crime, despite the guy who was killed having a prior criminal history and swastika tattoo on his chest.

Also, the woman was charged after CeCe pled guilty to manslaughter.

CeCe was sentenced on June 4, 2012 to 41 months in prison. Whether or not she was given due process and justice, she is to spend 3 years and five months in prison. Some of you may be thinking, ‘she plead guilty, now she has to face the consequences.’ What might be the problem with this line of thinking?

CeCe McDonald is a male-to-female transgender woman, and while she identifies as a woman, she will be housed in a facility with male inmates.

The obvious issue popping into the minds of most people invested in CeCe’s case and hopeful for her wellbeing is the issue of physical and sexual violence by the other inmates in the facility. It is a concern an has been reported to the Transgender Law Center from previous inmates that this is a very real fear and concern for both male-to-female transgender inmates and also female-to-male transgender inmates. Rape and sexual violence in prisons are heavy concerns, especially for trans* inmates. There may be coerced sex by another inmate or inmates, or also prison staff. Coercion is rape. There may be gang rapes and violence. And there another main form of sexual violation on trans* inmates according to reports to TLC is unnecessary strip searches and forced nudity:

a frequent substitute for, or precursor to, sexual violence or coercion is the use of strip searches or forced nudity by deputies, guards, officers, or medical personnel. Because of the severe reduction in privacy that occurs in jails and prisons, transgender people have very little control over who sees their bodies. Bodies that often times do not conform to the identity they know to be true or at least society’s expectations about that identity. Therefore, strip searches and public nudity can be especially humiliating to transgender prisoners.

Transgender men in particular report being subjected to unnecessary strip searches. Two men who have been held in San Francisco County jail have told me about frequent strip searches conducted by deputies and medical personnel for no reason other than to seemingly satisfy curiosity. These searches were not related to visits or interactions in which these guys could have been passed contraband. Instead, they seemed to come randomly from many quarters and occasionally involve two or more people doing the search.

Back in Sacramento County Jail, one of the two women described above and two of her fellow transgender prisoners related stories of being forced to walk topless through a gauntlet of male cells in order to get new clothes each week. Along the way, the women were subjected to taunts and catcalls. The very act of walking the line made them objects of both harassment and ridicule.

There are also a whole host of other concerns that include:

- Lack of competent medical care

- Access to programs, jobs, and recreational activities

- Ability to dress properly

- Respecting one’s gender identity and referring to them by the proper name and/or pronoun

- Segregation from the rest of the prison population. This is a huge deal because it has already happened in CeCe’s case. She was kept in solitary confinement for nearly a month by most accounts. Prison staff may determine to place trans* inmates in confinement as a way to, possibly, keep them safe or keep the incidences from occurring. This makes less likely and nearly impossible for the inmate to receive jobs or proper treatment programs.

Also, according to TLC:

The stated purpose of administrative segregation is that people being confined within it are a proven danger to themselves, staff, or other inmates. By using this classification for transgender prisoners, the message is being sent that a person’s gender identity itself is threatening to the institution and that person must be locked away in a prison within the prison.

The Transgender, Gender Variant and Intersex (TGI) Justice Project has a prison survival guide for trans* and intersex inmates. According to the survival guide, written by transgender women, “prison politics outweigh prison policy.” Sadly, this comes after the explanation that if you are any race other than Black and housed with the general population, you will be removed or leave the yard because the gang violence geared toward you, as the transgender inmate, will be so harsh.

And sadly, I don’t think that this post adequately describes the horror that trans* inmates have faced, nor the injustice that CeCe and others are facing and will continue to face. According to an article that includes a survey of trans* people of color by Advocate.com:

38% of African-American respondents experienced police harassment, 15% reported being physically assaulted by the police, and 7% reported being sexually assaulted by the police; 38% of African American MTF (male-to-female) respondents reported being sexually assaulted by either another inmate or a staff member in jail/prison; 41% of African-American respondents reported being imprisoned because of their race and gender identity alone; a whopping 47% reported having been in jail or prison for any reason.

According to this article, transgender people are 10-15 times more likely to be incarcerated at some point in their life, and have to face the horrifying circumstances outlined above. Additionally, prior to their incarceration, they often feel unable to rely on the police for protection because the police are often perpetrators of crimes against them. Over 50% of trans* people, notwithstanding incarceration, have been victim to some sort of violence; self-report surveys vary but a significant number of these attacks are sexual violence. 43% of trans* rape victims (both FTM and MTF) who participated in self-report surveys believed their perpetrators homophobia to be the motivation for the assault while 35% suggested transphobia to be the motivation.

[imagebrowser id=3]I applaud President Obama for concluding recently that PREA will apply to all Federal confinement facilities. President Obama has included language that acknowledges the concerns that I have for CeCe and all LGBTQQI people that may be incarcerated at some point. I do have wonders for the general public though; and the main one would be exactly how effective the Prison Rape Elimination Act would be henceforth. A few of the guidelines that detention centers must follow in order to be in compliance with the new guidelines under PREA is that they must:

• Staff should be trained on effective and professional communication with our communities.

• Housing assignments should take into consideration individual vulnerabilities but do not, in most circumstances, place [LGTBQQI] in inferior wings or pods.

• An analysis is required of whether an abuser was motivated by bias against [LGBTQQI], if abuse does occur.

• Transgender detainees cannot be searched solely to determine their genitalia, and determinations must be made on a case-by-case basis about whether [LGBTQQI] should be held in a men’s or women’s facility and cannot be based solely on genital status.

President Obama and company have included many great provisions for trans* inmates, including that they must be given the opportunity to shower separately from other inmates. And while one would hope that these provisions would provide some safety for transgender men and women prisoners, I wonder how effectively it is enforced and how much protection they are really being provided. CeCe will still be housed in a prison of men.

Also, if prison staff are part of the problem, how effective will PREA be? And if trans* people are afraid (with very good reason) to come forward and make staff aware of their rights and request their protections, what can be done? And if, by the counts of transwomen who wrote a prison survival guide for transwomen, prison politics outweigh prison policies, what good is PREA exactly?

What will happen to the CeCes of our community?

The post CeCe McDonald: Self-Defense and Still Defending appeared first on THE INTERSECTION | MADNESS & REALITY.

I was met with the typical response from some commenters that sexual ambiguity is a deal breaker and how can one be sure they shared similar values if the other person is ‘like that’. People are hilarious sometimes, especially when I think of the amount of people who are married to what has recently been identified to me as a ‘beard’.

“Beard is a slang term describing a person who is used, knowingly or unknowingly, as a date, romantic partner (Boyfriend or Girlfriend), or spouse either to conceal infidelity or to conceal one’s sexual orientation.”

Now I don’t mean to be mean or anything, but I do find it peculiar that I am personally aware of waaaay more marriages where one partner is perceived as ‘‘questionable’, than I know of married couples where one spouse openly identified as homosexual, though married to a heterosexual.

I’m not saying that couples have to openly affirm their sexual orientation to society, but its not like people aren’t confused when these relationships are vigorously presented as simply a case of ‘boy meets girl’ when the boy in question has never, ever, ever been interested in girl until he decided to marry —->her.

Dating and marrying a thirty year old virgin doesn’t make a man special. Though some would love to think their un-tampered with unicorn’s lack of interest in mating with men before them, just meant they were waiting for ‘the one’ and he thinks she’s that “one”.

I’m not talking about the sexually conservative, or strict religious followers, I’m just talking about what I consider average peculiar behavior.

Arranged marriages and marriages of convenience are nothing new, but since we’re out here promoting marriage as a willing union and not as a business deal what is to be said about those using marriage as a front to hide their sexual orientation?

Everyone asks questions regarding the sexual orientation of one partner or the other; teachers and other family associates inquire as to the gender identity of the parent and at some point in time everyone begins to wonder what the REAL deal is.

While I have no problem with any couple (gay, straight or mixed) that marries for the sake of wanting to be together to take on life as a team what I do have a problem with are people who feel that it’s okay to front for the sake of saving face.

One partner marries someone whom they know could never love them the way they want but they are still willing to take a fraud of a relationship in order to feel special. One partner may sit idly by while the other partner continues to maintain their REAL romantic relationship with a same sex partner who they call their ‘best friend’. Yes, the bills are paid, the family piles into the car to attend church on Sundays and the portraits do look amazing but is this how you saw your marriage?

Surely this satisfies the requirement for some people’s definition of marriage but pardon me if I want more. Using a person as a front is selfish and cruel; allowing yourself to be used as a front shows desperation. Unfortunately, your willingness to be a tool won’t barter you the love you seek.

I’m not a witch doctor hunting down the mythical DL brothers because that facet of life is merely a half truth at best. But just as much as a man or woman has to be willing to lie and deceive others regarding his/her sexuality he/she must also have a partner who is willing to eat those lies and lick the bowl clean. If the wedding ring is more important than being able to look yourself and your spouse in the eye then the marriage isn’t worth the paper it’s written on.

You may say these unions are no one business but their own…I disagree.

I do know White couples, Asian couples and some Middle Eastern couples who are married to a homosexual partner in spite of the variation of sexual orientation. They have chosen to live their lives this way for their own reasons, but what I do see is that they care about each other and their relationship is authentic, as it should be.

With the shortage of Black male dating prospects out here I’m sure there are plenty of women who would be willing to look the other way and forgive past transgressions for a man who was willing to ‘get saved’ and change his body language, social circle and friends in order to give a respectable “go” of the marriage.

But how many of them would marry a plain old bi/gay male who was willing to do the same thing but for change his orientation and sexual identity……not many I bet.

When little potential future homosexual children seek examples of who they will be when they grow up it saddens me to know the amount of people out there who are willing to lie and let lie rather than those willing to accept their authentic selves and each other.

With no space to exist some will feel forced to fit into roles that require them to wear a mask and there will be those heterosexual people right there ready for them when they do.

The post Gay People DO Get Married: The Curious Case of the Beard – When “the Gays” Marry Straight People appeared first on THE INTERSECTION | MADNESS & REALITY.

The Rev. Thomas Williams, a moral theologian and prominent American author, lecturer and television personality, said in a statement he was “deeply sorry for this grave transgression” against his vows of celibacy.

Williams, the author of such books as 2008’s “Knowing Right From Wrong: A Christian Guide to Conscience,” was the superior of the Legion’s general directorate in Rome in the late 1990s and early 2000s. More recently, he taught theology, promoted his books and lectured widely.

I don’t know why its so complicated for these men! If they simply described the pregnancy using ownership words like ‘I fathered a child’ then we could stop pretending like we don’t know what the hell their saying.

I’m not surprised by this and I think its safe to say the public stopped being shocked and awed years ago but for a few very gullible people that prefer to deny this pattern or those with an interest in keeping their secrets in tact.

The Legion has been beset by scandal following revelations that its late founder, the Rev. Marciel Maciel, fathered three children with two women and sexually abused his seminarians. Maciel died in 2008, and in 2009 the Legion admitted to his crimes.

The Maciel scandal has been particularly sensational given that the Mexican-born priest was held up by Pope John Paul II as a model for the faithful, with his priests admired for their orthodoxy and ability to bring in money and attract new seminarians.

Just last week, the Legion admitted that seven of its priests were under investigation by the Vatican for allegedly sexually abusing minors — suggesting that the same culture of secrecy and silence that Maciel used to cover his crimes enabled other priests to abuse children.

THE LEGION OF CHRIST *blank stare* are the latest culprit in this week’s headlines. As usual, there is no direct admission of guilt by the hypocritical upper echelon gaggle of man sandals and the organization as a whole shows evidence that it is willing to cover up discrepancies for the sake of revenue and power.  How typical.

Honestly, if this is the type of behavior religious followers prescribe to then I say its high time to disassemble these bastards sect by sect for the betterment of civilized society. If a group of guys want to live together in harmony then they should support gay marriage rights. If a group of men want to live in the hills and have wild outlandish sex with their apprentices then they should present themselves as such, because I know of plenty of people that are into that sort of thing, they’re called ‘subs’ in the kink circle.

And while others would spin their wheels discussing nuances of faith and salvation, I would rather get to the heart of the matter, which seems to be that religious organizations do women and children more harm than good for the sake of money and power.

Secret sex, lies, bastard children, unwed mothers, questions of financial support, abuse of power, and money.

Women, babies, church resources, questions of financial obligations, and YOU ARE THE FATHER..exactly the reason why the Vatican restricted marriage among members, who is going to take care of all these dam babies!?

The church is very rich, and its resources should be protected, like any other tool of exploitation. This isn’t rocket science.

Either way, all the drama sounds like the makings of a Good Book to me, though I’m eager to find out how this ends, I worry about what the masses will do once their ‘moral’ yardstick is taken away. What would Jesus Do…? My guess is…he’d run screaming away from these ‘religious leaders’ but I”m an atheist so what do I know?

The post The Legion of Christ Sex Scandal: Oh, Father God… He’s Just My Baby Daddy!! appeared first on THE INTERSECTION | MADNESS & REALITY.

Uh uh, never mind the economy, or the fact that gay people are unemployed and unable to afford stuff like glitter or whatever else “the gays,” happen to purchase; no, never mind that. Instead, what’s important and on everybody’s mind is that Obama wants to make it legal for gays to marry. Keep in mind that this was just his personal opinion and no legislation has been advanced to suggest this becoming a reality. Nope, all that matters is that gays are gonna be married with the full blessings of Obama; and, straight people (whether married or single) will now have to deal with the hassle of not being able to get out of their driveways because they’re being blocked in by the gay married couple giving each other head in a parked car. Yep, forget the whole equal protection under the law thingy in the U.S. Constitution; shit, that’s an old-ass piece of paper anyway.

I mean, who wants to have gay people tossing salads within 500 feet of a school, right? So yeah, as absurd as it sounds, that’s what marriage equality means in the minds of many. That plus the idea that straight people will now have to contend with the obvious embarassment of being placed in a ompromising position, by a gay person getting down on one knee and offering them a marriage proposal in public. Yeah, straight people often get married for the wrong reasons, who wants to add a straight person being hitched to a gay person and having to act gay to  the list.

Yes, this is what people fear; and, it’s the reason there’s so much talk . And you better believe, as far as the politics of fear goes, as much as most try to deny it, this will have an impact on this years general elections. How significant an impact? I’m not sure. However, I am sure that these fears will be exploited by the many ignoramuses  among us over the next several months. Hell, you see how they’re already trying to play divide and conquer by using the black vote, right? Yep, they’re using the black church to divide the black electorate by making same-sex marriage the latest wedge issue. Smart move especially when you think about how black preachers are bent on not pissing off white Jesus in hopes that he would allow blacks and whites to drink from the same fountain if Negroes are allowed in heaven. Yes, it’s that deep for some of the members of the black clergy and the Sunday Communion Kool Aid drinkers they lead. So much so that I’ve heard that some of them are definitely going to sit this election cycle out. I’ve heard from good source that in one particular Obama For America campaign office, people are talking about walking out on the campaign.

It’s good to know that common sense still lives in the church…

The post Wait, is Barack Obama Gay? Uhm, is He Still Black?!! appeared first on THE INTERSECTION | MADNESS & REALITY.

The language on the ballot that NC citizens voted either ‘FOR’ or ‘AGAINST’ on May 8th, or earlier, stated:

Constitutional amendment to provide that marriage between one man and one woman is the only domestic legal union that shall be valid or recognized in this State.

It is important to note that prior to May 8, 2012, thirty states have included “same-sex marriage” bans in their constitutions. Legal scholars note that there are three types of language that these marriage bans maintain, and the rarest (and most broad) are language types such that Ohio used. North Carolina has now adopted such similar language, even though the consequences were proven in Ohio and the people of Ohio worked hard (and are still working) toward better legislation.

I am of the opinion that the amendment was framed this way before and during the vote in order to appeal to the emotions of the religious voters of the South. In fact, the people who thought it was about marriage and gays came out and expressed how much bigotry and privilege they maintained, quietly or not. However, the idea of marriage is less the focus in the language of the newly passed amendment, and the phrase the only domestic legal union is. Why? Because the courts have to interpret exactly what that means. Additionally, the newly passed “marriage amendment” is nearly identical to a tragedy that passed in Ohio, that opened the floodgates to consequences for more than just persons of the same sex/gender seeking marriage. In fact, in both Ohio and North Carolina, same sex marriage is already outlawed without the amendments.

Beyond further marginalizing the LGBTQ community, the marriage amendment has the potential to affect domestic violence victims. In Ohio, defense attorneys argued that unwed heterosexual couples did not meet the criteria for a “union”, however the court may decide to define it, and as such does not qualify for certain charges. Defense attorneys were also successful in overturning domestic violence convictions on this basis, and the courts were unclear on whether or not certain protections could be afforded to victims in the form of restraining orders. Also, the courts ruled inconsistently on these matters across the state, and so victims in different regions were not afforded the same protections. Eventually, the Ohio Supreme Court ruled that the constitutional ban did not affect domestic violence laws; however, it took three years for the circumstances to reach the court and for a decision to be made. During those three years, damage was done.

Even more unfortunate is the language in North Carolina’s newly passed amendment is more vague, and potentially more dangerous, than that belonging to Ohio. While there are some extremely progressive parts of North Carolina, there are also very small, rural communities that may have different understandings of the phrase “legal domestic union” and, much like Ohio, provide unequal protection of the law. This matters. THIS MATTERS. This matters because people in rural communities may not have access to many of the resources in the larger cities, and it Amendment One is an issue of classism in addition to anti-gay, religious bigotry.

Along those same lines, Amendment One has a great potential affect legislation where children of unwed parents are concerned. Custody and visitation laws may be affected with parties who have never had a “legal domestic union” as the courts see fit to interpret. Additionally, insurance benefits provided by either parent therein have the potential to be affected. This is incredibly important because, as of 2010, 72% of Black mothers were unwed. Does this mean that in every instance, the father is absent? Absolutely not. In one way or another, either through the courts or voluntarily, I would suggest that it has been my experience that many fathers are around in some form. I do not have a statistic and I will not speculate on a statistic; I am saying this to say that the passing of this amendment and a courts subsequent decision could limit this involvement, ergo harming children and Black families. Amendment One is harmful because, in addition to the anti-gay, religious bigotry and classism, it has the potential to be racially discriminatory and harmful. It harms single-parent families which, by extension, harms the Black community greatly.

Also, it should be noted that in few counties in North Carolina, unwed heterosexual couples are allowed domestic civil unions; this provides that partners can be on one another’s insurance benefits in addition to other benefits. These include assisting with medical decisions, adoptions, will and trusts, and other financial decisions. However, since marriage between one man and one woman is now the only domestic legal union, many people will be at a disadvantage.

We do not know what will happen. I think that is important to say; however, we do know the things that have the potential to happen. Also, the fact that marriage between one man and one woman is the only form of marriage acceptable in the state of North Carolina (and the other states who have amendments) is illustrative of the fact that the governments are using emotional push-buttons in order to further underlying agendas. Moreover, Constitutional Amendments aren’t like trying on new shoes and deciding that we do not like the fit. It takes time, energy, and resources to ‘undo’ this; there is no easy fix. Once this gets out of hand and negatively affects the citizens of North Carolina, the legislature cannot simply pass a statute to remedy it; a new amendment has to be passed and this will be extremely difficult.

Again, as someone from North Carolina who has been on the ground working for just about a year against the passing of this very scary amendment, I’m torn between sadness, disgust, and rage. While not entirely surprised that the amendment passed, I did think that it would be closer; only seven of North Carolina’s 100 counties voted successfully against it. A few weeks before the election, I got a 21-year-old brother registered to vote because he specifically wanted to vote against the amendment. The day of actual vote, I got into many arguments with many religious Black people who felt as though voting for Amendment One was a testament to their religious convictions. Though I attempted to explain, I was devastated at how unchanged their minds were; and they were mostly in their twenties!

I challenged all of my Facebook friends to give me a reason to vote FOR Amendment One that had nothing to do with religion and I got no responses. However, I went to high school with a guy who is apparently becoming a minister, and very much disagreed with my stance on the amendment. He, as a minister, has a child out of wedlock and maybe might just be a Black Republican (I’m not quite sure of the latter). And so, to appeal to his religious nature, I introduced him to Loving v. Virginia, where a married Black woman and white man were sentenced to a year in prison (suspended for 25 years of probation) for their interracial marriage in 1959 because the court found that:

Almighty God created the races white, black, yellow, malay and red, and he placed them on separate continents. And but for the interference with his arrangement there would be no cause for such marriages. The fact that he separated the races shows that he did not intend for the races to mix.

Our government and constitutions should not be used as a sword, and it should not be used to prevent people from equal protection, rights, or benefits under the law. Our constitution is meant to give freedoms and not take them away. While in a way they’ve already begun, they are definitely coming for women and people of color next. Keep your religious opinions away from my constitution.

The post Amendment One: Wasn’t North Carolina The “Good” Carolina? appeared first on THE INTERSECTION | MADNESS & REALITY.

Not to mention the conversation between my graddaddy with my twin and I when we were (maybe) 10 years old. We were out with him and there were a couple of gentlemen who were, um… ‘together’ and my brother and I started making jokes at their expense… My granddad explained that they had done nothing to us and, in such, were due AT LEAST the respect due to any other human being. He started the lesson (which was surely longer than the above sentence) with “boy…” which meant that he was not pleased with our behavior. Needless to say, that approach has followed us on into adulthood. Sure, we’re macho men who still get our hands dirty, drive manual transmissioned cars and raise (somewhat) traditional families, but we allow people the personal respect to at least be indifferent to how they live their lives, so long as they play us the same.
Sure, my brain-to-mouth (or keyboard) filter often errs to the ragged edge of couth or politically correct or even mature sometimes, but dammit my intentions are usually good.

Anyway, looking deeper into the amendment, it not only carries the redundant banning of something that is already illegal, but goes on to remove legal recognition of domestic unions/partnerships. The language I am seeing used in support of the amendment is to “protect the union of marriage from activist judges,” which again is striking up a fight that shouldn’t need to be fought in the first place, but why in the hell are we needing to cut off the lines of benefits/support for (yes, even heterosexual) unmarried couples WITH this? Healthcare benefits, right to make emergency room decisions, childcare, domestic violence protections and more stand to be lost on people if this amendment is passed.
I actually got into it with a friend-since-12 on Friday over this one. He is a son of my churches former pastor, and is now a pastor himself and he went into this one with blinders fully on. When called on it, he never changed direction or even addressed any other issue than the gay marriage thing. I wound up leaving the conversation.

With the vote coming up on May 8th and knowing that I would be at work, and not wanting to take a 10 month-old out to the polls, my mom and I went to early voting on Saturday morning. She tagged along not because she wanted to vote or particularly even understood the measure, but when I mentioned Friday’s discussion with my friend (whom she knows as well) on the way home from work, she started with “yeah, I’d been meaning to ask you about that” and I explained the measure and what it attempted to accomplish on its surface, what it would mean to people around us, and what it would ACTUALLY accomplish in the name of claiming something that already exists anyway. Her response? “well, that’s fucking wretched! What time are you going to vote tomorrow?”

To be totally honest, I gave about a damn about ANYTHING else on my state’s primary ballots this year, and I do not even feel bad about that. With an incumbent president for whom I already planned to vote, I had no real plans to even VOTE in the primaries. I make no qualms that I randomly pushed buttons matching names I saw in my neighborhood on the way to the polling station only 2 miles away until I saw the “AGAINST” on amendment one; and as a black Christian male, I proudly voted against it. I was very much, in spirit and intentions, with the Triad People of Faith on this one, to the point where if anyone had offered to put one of their signs in my yard, I would have gladly and graciously supported it. Perhaps giving more clarity to my “Jesus was a Liberal” post from before, there is literally ZERO amount of out-of-context scripture that I would then or will from now allow me to vote for anything as damaging to families as NC’s Amendment One would be.
In the end, bigotry and zeal won out and an amendment that will conspire to screw a lot of people after people voted with their preacherman and his cronies instead of their informed consciences, but I know how I voted and I am vocally proud to say it.

The post North Carolina’s Amendment One, Same-Sex Marriage, & Me appeared first on THE INTERSECTION | MADNESS & REALITY.

You might even be so desperate for help that you reach out to a local radio show host like one father did recently for this exact same issue.

In response to an email from a listener concerning his daughter’s interest in girls, DJ Dominic Deiter declared over the air that the father could cure his daughter budding lesbianism by, “You should get one of your friends to screw your daughter straight.”

Once a person includes the words ‘father’, ‘daughter’,  ’your friends’ and ‘rape’ in the same sentence it becomes difficult to make things get worse than what they already are. However, the impact of the statement from this asshole gets even more insulting when you realize this is a broadcast from the ‘Rover’s Morning Glory’ radio program airing on WWMS 100.7 FM radio station.

This station is owned by Clear Channel Communications, also the home of Rush Limbaugh, Sean Hannity, and the rest of those red throat-ed eels. Bain Capital, the company that Mitt Romney began and is still involved with, is the majority owner of Clear Channel so as you can see, the gangs all here and doing what they do which is talk hateful and ignorant shit to the masses unfortunate enough to listen to it.

Of course this didn’t go over well with the folks over at GLAAD who had the following to say.

GLAAD’s Director of News & Field Media Aaron McQuade says “It was appalling and dangerous for this show to tell a father that he should have one of his friends rape his daughter. That’s essentially how Dieter responded to this listener, and this is no laughing matter in a world where people are too often the victims of violence and sexual assault based on their actual or perceived sexual orientation. And Dieter gave this vile advice to everyone who was listening, including educators, parents and children – sending the message that it’s okay to physically or sexually abuse people who are perceived to be gay.”

I’m not sure what it is that’s got my head so fucked up these days. As I sit down to write about certain topics I’m forced to reflect on myself and what it is that I’m trying to say to you people.

Sometimes the journey through what “is” and “is not” okay and what “is” and “is not” fucked up is still blurry in my world. Like when I hear about the sexual assault of a person who identifies as gay or is suspected of being gay, I can barely muster the interest to bat an eyelash because its part of what happens when you ‘choose’ to be gay. Being both gay and a woman makes the chance that a woman will be the victim of sexual assault that much more likely.

Dominic Dieter: Radio DJ, Potential Rapist, & Definitely Misogynist

Sexual assault is more prevalent for some people in society than for others and focusing on how wrong rape is immediately makes one also realize how common sexual assault is. The further you go down on the societal totem pole the more likely you are to be a victim of sexual assault.

The chances increase as you add various factors to the situation such as economics, race and especially sexual orientation, because the ladder makes a question of what one does up for public debate. Being gay or perceived as gay is something that is viewed as wrong by closed minded ignorant people of all nationalities, races and gender.

LGBT people insult everyone else with their presence so not only is the act of raping a gay person a sexual assault, it is also a hate crime because the initial motivation for the sexual assault is to exhibit power over another person because of their gender orientation or perception thereof.

Rape is about power.

The rape of a gay person is about power and erasure. It is a double theft of a person’s right to self determination and privacy.

The value of the victim decreases as the biases increase and I’m sure there were plenty of insecure men and quivering homophobics who agreed that indeed, a gay woman (or any woman for that matter) should have ‘the gay fucked out of her’ because there’s nothing more threatening to the world then a woman who isn’t susceptible or receptive to the almighty penis.

The post Female Sexual Assault + Hate Crime = How Men Turn Lesbians Straight? appeared first on THE INTERSECTION | MADNESS & REALITY.

This was the ultimate Twitter nightmare. It can be argued that a clear understanding of how twitter works, and what it’s reach is might have helped avert this situation. Even if he himself was unaware those around him – or there should have been some around him with an understanding of social media networks, Twitter especially since he frequents it so much.

How is it in the African American community who has such a high rate of users on twitter and other social networks, that it appears many are unaware of how this level of engagement TRULY works? There are some that know, but silence appears to be golden. Not so golden for Mr. Martin and others who have fallen prey to errant tweets. No one in this dimension can lay claim to the intent behind words on a screen. Technology is good but it is not yet that good to determine whether or not the text you see on a “screen” is authentic and any  more realistic than the device you use to connect in the first place.

The backlash was somewhat expected and even more so when one contemplates the fact that there are many of his co-workers and fellow journalists that are part of the LGBT community – at best this spells hostile work environment. The backlash TO the backlash was to be expected as well there has already been a Facebook page/group started in support of Roland Martin (Bruhs for Roland Martin)

Understandably, there has been a measure of what would be deemed an angry response from members of the African American community who feel that Mr. Martin was scapegoated, and or unfairly treated in this case.  One wonders if any  of those folks realize the kinds of contracts one has to sign in order to work for any organization of that size and magnitude and especially be in the public eye. Contracts often contain morality clauses or clauses that stipulate that if one’s behavior is not perceived to be in line with corporate policy – it is grounds for termination or breach of contract.

One also wonders if those screaming about the unfairness of Mr. Martin’s suspension have ever considered the creation of a news organization or media outlet LIKE a CNN and that would be minority owned and provide an alternative for individuals such as Mr. Martin so that situations like this would be non-issues.

With very little competition organizations can craft and execute whatever strategies they wish with very little impunity.  Having choices allows for more opportunities for fairness to exist. Having few choices means someone or some group gets to dictate to everyone else.

In the end, regardless of the “side” you may wish to take – reality says there are no sides because we are all humans in the end warts and all. Bad jokes or statements aside we still all bleed and we all feel. Not knowing Mr. Martin personally, the human side of me can and does feel compassion for what appears to be a situation that got quickly and totally out of hand. For all those celebrating this turn of events be careful what you Tweet or say online. The job/life you save may be your own.

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