OK, so maybe I’m a little different and I don’t; but I guess being outspoken against the coontastic behavior of people with whom I share a melanin affliction, makes me a prime candidate to support such a move. However, not to shit on anyone’s dreams, but this petition is as stupid as the day the NAACP assembled folks in Detroit several years ago to host a mock funeral for the word “nigger,” in protest of lyrics in Hip Hop. A symbolic gesture at best, but as far as impact or the ability to promote and produce change? Welp, the lyrics haven’t changed, and they’re on television.

I, like many of you, watched in complete horror as a cable network debuted yet another reality drama based on black life as it purportedly unfolds in the ATL. I will refrain from mentioning the name of this show because if you saw it then you already know what I’m referring to and if you didn’t then I do not wish to entice or encourage you to seek it out. In fact, the more that I reflect on my feelings about what I witnessed Monday evening, the more I realize that my disgust lies not just with that particular show alone, but with the way that the city which was once a symbol of black progress is now being portrayed in the media as a whole.

Series after series I have watched with great chagrin as popular reality TV franchises select the jewel of the south to lift the veil of mystique behind the city’s affluent and create what ultimately amounts to a ratings bonanza for the networks and a cash windfall for the producers.

Time after time, executive producers from L.A. and New York, where I currently reside- bring their camera crews and A/V techs into our city to create what inevitably amounts to the Jerry Springer equivalent of the franchise’s northern counterparts. A series that historically featured the diamond encrusted lives of wealthy spouses debuted an Atlanta version of the series where the wealth was elusive and spouses were no longer a requirement. More recently, a show about popular entertainers and the women who love them premiered an Atlanta-based installment where the term popular was subjective and women suggested that other women should be put “on the track,” a prostitution reference that is particularly damaging for a city that is already noted for being one of the largest hubs for child sex trafficking in the world. To put it mildly I was offended. To state I plainly, I was aghast.

How is it that a city which was once the crowning jewel in the story of black America has allowed itself to be positioned as the melting pot of black affliction? The Atlanta that I knew and grew up in was one of great pride and self-respect. Our achievements were known across the globe, as people from far and wide would often respond, “Wow, I hear that black people are really doing their thing down there,” when I would tell them I’m from Atlanta. Today that assertion is often met with “Yoooo….I hear Atlanta’s got them bangin’ strip clubs.” …Really?!?

Um, who do you think told us about those bangin’ strip clubs, Kelly? I dunno, but my guess is that it wasn’t some rapper from Des Moine, Iowa. Which is actually kinda funny when you think about the fact that it’s white folks who are largely buying Hip Hop music, and even watching the show.

With 3.6 million people having watched he premiere, surely they aren’t all black.

Yeah, but now somebody has the gall to start a petition on change.org of all places? I’m not a comedian, but the fact that they’re using a website known to advance significant change — you know, like getting George Zimmerman arrested, and countless other issues related to social justice? — to get this particular show off the air, should be the punchline of the year in Negronia. Shit, whatever happened to hitting the pavement or using the internet to get people registered to vote? Nah, that’s not as important as the social activism associated with hating the foolishness on VH1.

Check out the petition:

After we made a ruckus about Basketball Wives, sponsors began to pull ads. Well, it’s that time again, folks!

While we should respect the perceptions and experiences of the men and women featured on “reality” television shows, networks are airing stories that could be very helpful for people to hear, but they’re telling these stories in EXTREMELY dangerous ways.

We all know premium digital crack rock is ‘slanged’ in digital hoods other than VH1. We also know the problem is not just TV–it’s a big, mean, social monster that we’ve gotta shoot down one non-violent bullet at a time. Nevertheless, somebody’s gotta be the face of this lovely movement. And since VH1 has chosen to give us yet another beautifully-blinged jewel of commercial exploitation (Love & Hip Hop: Atlanta), they might as well be the face of change. By the way, shout out to all African Americans who received Love & Hip Hop: Atlanta as their Juneteenth gift! You won and lost at the same time!

As we work toward national- and local-level change, let’s tell VH1 and their sponsors (again) why people from a broad range of backgrounds will NOT stand for the exploitation of the lived experiences of people who may not even know they’re being exploited. This isn’t a “Black or White” thing, this is a HUMAN thing…and we should all understand.

P.S. That “turn of the TV/your kids’ TV if you don’t want to watch” argument doesn’t work here, VH1. A good number of the kids who are most at risk don’t have the luxury of living with parents who can just “turn off the TV”. Why? Because their parents are out working multiple jobs (thanks to this lovely thing called poverty); one or both parents are on drugs, dead, or in jail; or they’re raised by ill grandparents, relatives who aren’t that interested in their future, or foster parents who abuse them and only foster to collect a check.

So now y’all wanna boycott Love & Hip Hop: Atlanta after enabling all the fuckery VH1, Bravo, and Oxygen has provided? Nah, why boycott now? Shit, why not wait until they choose to portray black women as the throwback “Aunt Jemima with a head scarf” character, who’s happy to be slaving in the homes of rich white folks? You know, sorta like The Help but the reality TV version of it? Yeah, let’s wait for that one before we start this talk about boycotts. After all, didn’t we do this shit to ourselves? Yep, Rick James was right: “They never shoulda gave you niggas money!” But then again, that’s how exploitation works. Hell, who better than black folks — or more specifically black women — to once again take pleasure in our exploitation? After all, there’s no way a dope fiend can exist without someone close to enable him or her, or someone to push their poison on them, right?

Man please, start a petition to get Negroes jobs and I’ll be down.

The post How About Registering Voters Instead of a “Love & Hip Hop: Atlanta” Boycott Petition? appeared first on THE INTERSECTION | MADNESS & REALITY.

Her latest effort with The Flaming Lips however, left some fans scrambling for an explanation… while others were put off entirely, vowing never to watch it again. Some folks across the Twitter-verse and Facebook commended Erykah for being fearless and waxed poetic about what Nayrok’s sensual expression symbolized. Granted, some folks sounded as if they were blowing hot, putrid air, but boy did they speculate and try to tie it all together into a cohesive meaning. Erykah herself, commended her sister Nayrok for being a good sport for sacrificing her body in the name of artistic expression. While I didn’t even attempt to formulate my own interpretation of the video, I did find it interesting and chalked it up to Erykah and Nayrok embracing their bodies on their terms.  Those with a keener eye, saw it for what it was and didn’t buy it as art; and so refused to whip out their checkbooks to co-sign for the meat that was being sold. The video was deemed another exploitative piece of work showing Black female bodies on display for male profit and for the male gaze (a notion Black feminist Bell Hooks challenges in her essay “The Oppositional Gaze”). I left the video open to interpretation because I assumed Erykah would eventually offer an explanation.

According to Black cinema blog Shadow and Act, Erykah has since reached out to her fans via Twitter and asked what they thought about the video. After receiving a wide range of responses, Badu then posed another puzzling question: “What if the video has no meaning at all? Now how do u feel?” 

In a far more interesting chain of events, Erykah’s professional relationship with The Flaming Lips’ lead singer Wayne Coyne, publicly imploded due to what appeared to be a sinister example of exploitation. In an official statement, Coyne more or less admitted to releasing an unfinished and unedited version of the controversial video to the public, before getting the input of Erykah and her sister and before green-screening away the nudity like he allegedly promised to do, according to the singer. Erykah explained her agitation after Wayne aired her grievance on Twitter. He also released the following statement…

The video link that was erroneously posted on Pitchfork by the Flaming Lips of the Music Video ‘The First Time I Ever Saw Your Face’, which features Erykah Badu, is unedited and unapproved… Sorry!! We, the Flaming Lips, accept full responsibility for prematurely having Pitchfork post it. It has outraged and upset a segment of fans and we apologize if we offended any viewers!!! This is a Flaming Lips video which features Erykah Badu and her sister Nayrok and is not meant to be considered an Erykah Badu or Nayrok statement, creation, or approved version.

Erykah was none too pleased and fired off a litany of angry words of her own, expressing her dismay and regret for not listening to her initial feelings of apprehension about Wayne’s idea...

@waynecoyne then… perhaps, next time u get an occasion to work with an artist who respects your mind/art, you should send at least a ROUGh version of the video u PLAN to release b4 u manipulate or compromise the artist’s brand by desperately releasing a poor excuse for shock and nudity that sends a convoluted message that passes as art( to some).Even with Window Seat there was a method and thought process involved. I have not one need for publicity . I just love artistic dialogue . And just because an image is shocking does not make it art. You obviously have a misconception of who I am artistically. I don’t mind that but…By the way you are an ass. Yu did everything wrong from the on set .  First: You showed me a concept of beautiful tasteful imagery( by way of vid text messages) .  I trusted that. I was mistaken. Then u release an unedited, unapproved version within the next few days.  That all spells 1 thing , Self Serving . When asked what the concept meant after u explained it , u replied ,”it doesn’t mean anything , I just want to make a great video that everyone is going to watch. ” I understood , because as an artist we all desire that. But we don’t all do it at another artist’s expense . I attempted to resolve this respectfully by having conversations with u after the release but that too proved to be a poor excuse for art. From jump, You begged me to sit in a tub of that other shit and I said naw. I refused to sit in any liquid that was not water. But Out of RESPECT for you and the artist you ‘appear’ to be, I Didn’t wanna kill your concept , wanted u to at least get it out of your head . After all, u spent your dough on studio , trip to Dallas etc.. Sooo, I invited Nayrok , my lil sis and artist, who is much more liberal ,to be subject of those other disturbing (to me) scenes… Read the rest here

Needless to say, the video went against all the tenets of ‘Baduizm‘: it harbored no real meaning like people wanted it to, it wasn’t Erykah’s full vision like many of us assumed it to be, contrary to the usual proprietary authority Erykah has over her art, it appears as if she (and her sister) got bamboozled and used… which is unfortunate: “As a sociologist I understand your type. As your fellow artist I am uninspired. As a woman I feel violated and underestimated.”

And all yesterday-long (and today), much to Twitter followers’ exasperation and chagrin, Erykah Badu engaged in an exhausting, non-stop exchange with Wayne Coyne, who seemed to bask in taunting Badu and her followers with a series of antagonistic Tweets and Retweets on his timeline.

There are many lessons to be gleaned from these sorts of situations, particularly when you’re a Black woman trying to maintain ownership and respect over your image and body within the realm of the arts and media. And while Badu seems philosophical about the jarring experience…  “He’s got a record coming out, so you do what you do. But as artists we don’t do it at each other’s expense. I  adore his art. But not at my expense.”  

… I think Maya Angelou’s warning very concisely sums it all up: “The first time someone shows you who they are, believe them.”

The post No Disrespect: Erykah Badu Falls Victim to “The Male Gaze” appeared first on THE INTERSECTION | MADNESS & REALITY.

CORSET is the go-to magazine for all things sexuality. We embrace human curiosity. We honor sensuality. We celebrate sex. And we want you to join our movement.

So with that, I packed up my proverbial bags and headed on over to sign my professional life away. I have been working with a photographer for the past several month on creating what I hope to become a lesson in observation of erotic nudes of Black women.

We shot some images, I wrote an article and actually used spell check and read that bitch for errors twice and BAM!!

[imagebrowser id=4]I have been looking at porn since the age of nine and fighting the stupid ass conservative opinions of the Blacks I was unfortunate enough to have been raised around since I could form words (true story!).

We’ve never been on the same page, as I, a sexually enthusiastic and curious sort wouldn’t be made to feel ashamed of something that bought me and other people so much pleasure. They were talking, but I wasn’t paying that shit NO attention no matter how bad they felt at the fact that I wouldn’t feel bad about myself.

Physical interactions are like gifts to me, just think of me as a woman that naturally liked to give ‘feel goods’ to whomever I choose.

Overall, the response to my work has been very positive. I’m receiving emails and Facebook messages from my conservative Christian friends who wish they had the balls to do it. Much of the feed back has been that its about time for black women to enjoy self motivated boldness.

Trills Smith, my photographer always delivers images that are both tasteful and intriguing. I can explain any variation of sexual irony in society or sub-culture details and he gets it whether he’s personally invested in my topic or not.

What’s even more interesting is that we’ve got a decade of age span between us and we’re both growing as students of life through our work as photographer and subject.

His insight, comments, and questions are teaching me about myself, subjectively. And I’m sure he’s leaning a thing or two from the crazy shit that I’ve been throwing at him these last few months. We deliver sex and sensuality but if you only knew what goes on behind the scenes.

But they do say laughter is sexy….so…

Of course it would take a wandering Facebook voyeur who doesn’t know me very well to have the nerve to inquire about the well being of my daughter or any ‘children’ of mine (Ha!) who may see this in the future.

I’m concerned about their concern over my display of sensual thumb sucking and how it may affect the morality and future good social graces of my decedents.

So, how does my daughter feel about her mother’s blatant sexual display……?

She’s proud of me because I am ‘a kick ass sex positive Mom’ and my picture is ‘cool’.

She did blush momentarily. I did too, how audacious, right!?

Obtaining the cover of an international magazine is indeed, cool, but having a daughter who understands why I do what I do is even cooler. Having an adult daughter who is sexually freer and more knowledgeable than I was allowed to be is absolutely priceless.

Grab your copy of the upcoming Corset Magazine: The Oral Issue before it goes on sale July 1 and get a second past or future issue for FREE. Find out what I have to say about Oral sex, bask in the glory of several full color visual photo spreads and thigh clenching articles that will make you re-think the meaning of having a filthy mouth.

The post Kids and Sex: How My Daughter Feels About My Sex Work appeared first on THE INTERSECTION | MADNESS & REALITY.

One of the women in the group smashed a glass in CeCe’s face, cutting and injuring her. As a matter of fact, the glass sliced all the way through her cheek, lacerating a salivary gland. A fight ensued. One of the attackers, a 47-year-old male, died. CeCe was arrested and charged, and self-defense was not considered. By some counts, CeCe was denied proper medical care and was kept in solitary confinement for a month. The woman who initiated the incident and smashed the glass in CeCe’s face was charged nearly a year later; as far as I am aware there is no acknowledgment of a hate crime, despite the guy who was killed having a prior criminal history and swastika tattoo on his chest.

Also, the woman was charged after CeCe pled guilty to manslaughter.

CeCe was sentenced on June 4, 2012 to 41 months in prison. Whether or not she was given due process and justice, she is to spend 3 years and five months in prison. Some of you may be thinking, ‘she plead guilty, now she has to face the consequences.’ What might be the problem with this line of thinking?

CeCe McDonald is a male-to-female transgender woman, and while she identifies as a woman, she will be housed in a facility with male inmates.

The obvious issue popping into the minds of most people invested in CeCe’s case and hopeful for her wellbeing is the issue of physical and sexual violence by the other inmates in the facility. It is a concern an has been reported to the Transgender Law Center from previous inmates that this is a very real fear and concern for both male-to-female transgender inmates and also female-to-male transgender inmates. Rape and sexual violence in prisons are heavy concerns, especially for trans* inmates. There may be coerced sex by another inmate or inmates, or also prison staff. Coercion is rape. There may be gang rapes and violence. And there another main form of sexual violation on trans* inmates according to reports to TLC is unnecessary strip searches and forced nudity:

a frequent substitute for, or precursor to, sexual violence or coercion is the use of strip searches or forced nudity by deputies, guards, officers, or medical personnel. Because of the severe reduction in privacy that occurs in jails and prisons, transgender people have very little control over who sees their bodies. Bodies that often times do not conform to the identity they know to be true or at least society’s expectations about that identity. Therefore, strip searches and public nudity can be especially humiliating to transgender prisoners.

Transgender men in particular report being subjected to unnecessary strip searches. Two men who have been held in San Francisco County jail have told me about frequent strip searches conducted by deputies and medical personnel for no reason other than to seemingly satisfy curiosity. These searches were not related to visits or interactions in which these guys could have been passed contraband. Instead, they seemed to come randomly from many quarters and occasionally involve two or more people doing the search.

Back in Sacramento County Jail, one of the two women described above and two of her fellow transgender prisoners related stories of being forced to walk topless through a gauntlet of male cells in order to get new clothes each week. Along the way, the women were subjected to taunts and catcalls. The very act of walking the line made them objects of both harassment and ridicule.

There are also a whole host of other concerns that include:

- Lack of competent medical care

- Access to programs, jobs, and recreational activities

- Ability to dress properly

- Respecting one’s gender identity and referring to them by the proper name and/or pronoun

- Segregation from the rest of the prison population. This is a huge deal because it has already happened in CeCe’s case. She was kept in solitary confinement for nearly a month by most accounts. Prison staff may determine to place trans* inmates in confinement as a way to, possibly, keep them safe or keep the incidences from occurring. This makes less likely and nearly impossible for the inmate to receive jobs or proper treatment programs.

Also, according to TLC:

The stated purpose of administrative segregation is that people being confined within it are a proven danger to themselves, staff, or other inmates. By using this classification for transgender prisoners, the message is being sent that a person’s gender identity itself is threatening to the institution and that person must be locked away in a prison within the prison.

The Transgender, Gender Variant and Intersex (TGI) Justice Project has a prison survival guide for trans* and intersex inmates. According to the survival guide, written by transgender women, “prison politics outweigh prison policy.” Sadly, this comes after the explanation that if you are any race other than Black and housed with the general population, you will be removed or leave the yard because the gang violence geared toward you, as the transgender inmate, will be so harsh.

And sadly, I don’t think that this post adequately describes the horror that trans* inmates have faced, nor the injustice that CeCe and others are facing and will continue to face. According to an article that includes a survey of trans* people of color by Advocate.com:

38% of African-American respondents experienced police harassment, 15% reported being physically assaulted by the police, and 7% reported being sexually assaulted by the police; 38% of African American MTF (male-to-female) respondents reported being sexually assaulted by either another inmate or a staff member in jail/prison; 41% of African-American respondents reported being imprisoned because of their race and gender identity alone; a whopping 47% reported having been in jail or prison for any reason.

According to this article, transgender people are 10-15 times more likely to be incarcerated at some point in their life, and have to face the horrifying circumstances outlined above. Additionally, prior to their incarceration, they often feel unable to rely on the police for protection because the police are often perpetrators of crimes against them. Over 50% of trans* people, notwithstanding incarceration, have been victim to some sort of violence; self-report surveys vary but a significant number of these attacks are sexual violence. 43% of trans* rape victims (both FTM and MTF) who participated in self-report surveys believed their perpetrators homophobia to be the motivation for the assault while 35% suggested transphobia to be the motivation.

[imagebrowser id=3]I applaud President Obama for concluding recently that PREA will apply to all Federal confinement facilities. President Obama has included language that acknowledges the concerns that I have for CeCe and all LGBTQQI people that may be incarcerated at some point. I do have wonders for the general public though; and the main one would be exactly how effective the Prison Rape Elimination Act would be henceforth. A few of the guidelines that detention centers must follow in order to be in compliance with the new guidelines under PREA is that they must:

• Staff should be trained on effective and professional communication with our communities.

• Housing assignments should take into consideration individual vulnerabilities but do not, in most circumstances, place [LGTBQQI] in inferior wings or pods.

• An analysis is required of whether an abuser was motivated by bias against [LGBTQQI], if abuse does occur.

• Transgender detainees cannot be searched solely to determine their genitalia, and determinations must be made on a case-by-case basis about whether [LGBTQQI] should be held in a men’s or women’s facility and cannot be based solely on genital status.

President Obama and company have included many great provisions for trans* inmates, including that they must be given the opportunity to shower separately from other inmates. And while one would hope that these provisions would provide some safety for transgender men and women prisoners, I wonder how effectively it is enforced and how much protection they are really being provided. CeCe will still be housed in a prison of men.

Also, if prison staff are part of the problem, how effective will PREA be? And if trans* people are afraid (with very good reason) to come forward and make staff aware of their rights and request their protections, what can be done? And if, by the counts of transwomen who wrote a prison survival guide for transwomen, prison politics outweigh prison policies, what good is PREA exactly?

What will happen to the CeCes of our community?

The post CeCe McDonald: Self-Defense and Still Defending appeared first on THE INTERSECTION | MADNESS & REALITY.

I was met with the typical response from some commenters that sexual ambiguity is a deal breaker and how can one be sure they shared similar values if the other person is ‘like that’. People are hilarious sometimes, especially when I think of the amount of people who are married to what has recently been identified to me as a ‘beard’.

“Beard is a slang term describing a person who is used, knowingly or unknowingly, as a date, romantic partner (Boyfriend or Girlfriend), or spouse either to conceal infidelity or to conceal one’s sexual orientation.”

Now I don’t mean to be mean or anything, but I do find it peculiar that I am personally aware of waaaay more marriages where one partner is perceived as ‘‘questionable’, than I know of married couples where one spouse openly identified as homosexual, though married to a heterosexual.

I’m not saying that couples have to openly affirm their sexual orientation to society, but its not like people aren’t confused when these relationships are vigorously presented as simply a case of ‘boy meets girl’ when the boy in question has never, ever, ever been interested in girl until he decided to marry —->her.

Dating and marrying a thirty year old virgin doesn’t make a man special. Though some would love to think their un-tampered with unicorn’s lack of interest in mating with men before them, just meant they were waiting for ‘the one’ and he thinks she’s that “one”.

I’m not talking about the sexually conservative, or strict religious followers, I’m just talking about what I consider average peculiar behavior.

Arranged marriages and marriages of convenience are nothing new, but since we’re out here promoting marriage as a willing union and not as a business deal what is to be said about those using marriage as a front to hide their sexual orientation?

Everyone asks questions regarding the sexual orientation of one partner or the other; teachers and other family associates inquire as to the gender identity of the parent and at some point in time everyone begins to wonder what the REAL deal is.

While I have no problem with any couple (gay, straight or mixed) that marries for the sake of wanting to be together to take on life as a team what I do have a problem with are people who feel that it’s okay to front for the sake of saving face.

One partner marries someone whom they know could never love them the way they want but they are still willing to take a fraud of a relationship in order to feel special. One partner may sit idly by while the other partner continues to maintain their REAL romantic relationship with a same sex partner who they call their ‘best friend’. Yes, the bills are paid, the family piles into the car to attend church on Sundays and the portraits do look amazing but is this how you saw your marriage?

Surely this satisfies the requirement for some people’s definition of marriage but pardon me if I want more. Using a person as a front is selfish and cruel; allowing yourself to be used as a front shows desperation. Unfortunately, your willingness to be a tool won’t barter you the love you seek.

I’m not a witch doctor hunting down the mythical DL brothers because that facet of life is merely a half truth at best. But just as much as a man or woman has to be willing to lie and deceive others regarding his/her sexuality he/she must also have a partner who is willing to eat those lies and lick the bowl clean. If the wedding ring is more important than being able to look yourself and your spouse in the eye then the marriage isn’t worth the paper it’s written on.

You may say these unions are no one business but their own…I disagree.

I do know White couples, Asian couples and some Middle Eastern couples who are married to a homosexual partner in spite of the variation of sexual orientation. They have chosen to live their lives this way for their own reasons, but what I do see is that they care about each other and their relationship is authentic, as it should be.

With the shortage of Black male dating prospects out here I’m sure there are plenty of women who would be willing to look the other way and forgive past transgressions for a man who was willing to ‘get saved’ and change his body language, social circle and friends in order to give a respectable “go” of the marriage.

But how many of them would marry a plain old bi/gay male who was willing to do the same thing but for change his orientation and sexual identity……not many I bet.

When little potential future homosexual children seek examples of who they will be when they grow up it saddens me to know the amount of people out there who are willing to lie and let lie rather than those willing to accept their authentic selves and each other.

With no space to exist some will feel forced to fit into roles that require them to wear a mask and there will be those heterosexual people right there ready for them when they do.

The post Gay People DO Get Married: The Curious Case of the Beard – When “the Gays” Marry Straight People appeared first on THE INTERSECTION | MADNESS & REALITY.

You might even be so desperate for help that you reach out to a local radio show host like one father did recently for this exact same issue.

In response to an email from a listener concerning his daughter’s interest in girls, DJ Dominic Deiter declared over the air that the father could cure his daughter budding lesbianism by, “You should get one of your friends to screw your daughter straight.”

Once a person includes the words ‘father’, ‘daughter’,  ’your friends’ and ‘rape’ in the same sentence it becomes difficult to make things get worse than what they already are. However, the impact of the statement from this asshole gets even more insulting when you realize this is a broadcast from the ‘Rover’s Morning Glory’ radio program airing on WWMS 100.7 FM radio station.

This station is owned by Clear Channel Communications, also the home of Rush Limbaugh, Sean Hannity, and the rest of those red throat-ed eels. Bain Capital, the company that Mitt Romney began and is still involved with, is the majority owner of Clear Channel so as you can see, the gangs all here and doing what they do which is talk hateful and ignorant shit to the masses unfortunate enough to listen to it.

Of course this didn’t go over well with the folks over at GLAAD who had the following to say.

GLAAD’s Director of News & Field Media Aaron McQuade says “It was appalling and dangerous for this show to tell a father that he should have one of his friends rape his daughter. That’s essentially how Dieter responded to this listener, and this is no laughing matter in a world where people are too often the victims of violence and sexual assault based on their actual or perceived sexual orientation. And Dieter gave this vile advice to everyone who was listening, including educators, parents and children – sending the message that it’s okay to physically or sexually abuse people who are perceived to be gay.”

I’m not sure what it is that’s got my head so fucked up these days. As I sit down to write about certain topics I’m forced to reflect on myself and what it is that I’m trying to say to you people.

Sometimes the journey through what “is” and “is not” okay and what “is” and “is not” fucked up is still blurry in my world. Like when I hear about the sexual assault of a person who identifies as gay or is suspected of being gay, I can barely muster the interest to bat an eyelash because its part of what happens when you ‘choose’ to be gay. Being both gay and a woman makes the chance that a woman will be the victim of sexual assault that much more likely.

Dominic Dieter: Radio DJ, Potential Rapist, & Definitely Misogynist

Sexual assault is more prevalent for some people in society than for others and focusing on how wrong rape is immediately makes one also realize how common sexual assault is. The further you go down on the societal totem pole the more likely you are to be a victim of sexual assault.

The chances increase as you add various factors to the situation such as economics, race and especially sexual orientation, because the ladder makes a question of what one does up for public debate. Being gay or perceived as gay is something that is viewed as wrong by closed minded ignorant people of all nationalities, races and gender.

LGBT people insult everyone else with their presence so not only is the act of raping a gay person a sexual assault, it is also a hate crime because the initial motivation for the sexual assault is to exhibit power over another person because of their gender orientation or perception thereof.

Rape is about power.

The rape of a gay person is about power and erasure. It is a double theft of a person’s right to self determination and privacy.

The value of the victim decreases as the biases increase and I’m sure there were plenty of insecure men and quivering homophobics who agreed that indeed, a gay woman (or any woman for that matter) should have ‘the gay fucked out of her’ because there’s nothing more threatening to the world then a woman who isn’t susceptible or receptive to the almighty penis.

The post Female Sexual Assault + Hate Crime = How Men Turn Lesbians Straight? appeared first on THE INTERSECTION | MADNESS & REALITY.

Then there’s an offshoot of women who’ve latched onto the BWE movement while claiming to have our best interest in mind, but will write ill of Black women every chance they get. They liken the snark to “tough love” but I interpret it as nothing more than Mean Girl propaganda; which is often elitist, biting, and mocking. The line of demarcation between their agenda and that of most other BWE bloggers, is clear and they’re seemingly targeting a certain demographic of Black women… I get that. But, for those who don’t fit the aesthetic they believe Black women should have– which is a look seemingly dictated by Western standards of beauty and femininity, you’re nothing more than an unfeminine, “Black male-identified” Mammy or Ghetto Queen according to the discourse and memes unfolding on those platforms and Barbara Jordan is no exception to their rule…

Barbara Jordan was one of the most notable Black female figures in this country. An educator, lawyer, politician, and leader of the Civil Rights Movement, Jordan was a trailblazer who helped change the face of politics and shattered myths about what a Black woman’s capabilities were limited to. If anyone’s worthy of having their life brought to the big screen, it’s her.  None of Barbara’s groundbreaking accolades make a difference to some however, because they seem consumed by how she looked and are of the opinion that her particular aesthetic will somehow ruin the Black Woman’s “brand.”

Fresh from riding the wave of her much talked about role as Abilene in the movie “The Help”, Viola Davis seems up to the task of tackling the life of Barbara Jordan in a biopic she’s slated to star in and produce with her husband; much to the chagrin of chauvinist-sounding critics and definitely to the dismay of  a popular BWE identified blogger, who wrote…

It’s a competitive world. I can see how this would likely play out in any movie: the WW partner would be portrayed as conventionally attractive and feminine, while Ms. Jordan would be portrayed as an asexual mammy at best. Or as a “butch”-looking lesbian at worst. Thereby continuing to lift up WW’s collective “brand” while tossing BW’s collective “brand” under the bus. I don’t want to see some mess about Closeted, Asexual Mammy. 

For me it’s not about homophobia. It’s about AA women’s collective “brand.” If there’s going to be a biopic about a closeted, civil rights era AA lesbian who dated White women, I’d rather see one made about Lorraine Hansberry, who carried herself with feminine grace and glamor[sic]. What I’d really like to see are some biopics about AA women like Lena Horne and Gloria Ray Karlmark (one of the Little Rock Nine who moved to Europe, married a European man, and has lived very well). I want to see biopics of AA women who lived well in the outer world.

I understood the gripes surrounding the politics of Viola’s role in “The Help” however, I can’t help but think that Viola being a darker skinned Black actress, on the cusp of playing a role about a Darker skinned woman is what unsettles some folks within that particular movement… and that’s troubling to me. It seems that, like Jordan’s femininity, Davis’ feminine wiles is being called into question lest she play a sexpot or prove that she has the same allure as Halle Berry or Paula Patton, in movies. I also think it’s ridiculous to undermine Barbara Jordan’s work and intellect, just because she didn’t look a certain way… particularly since she was a Civil Rights leader and politician, not Erica Jong.

Black women — particularly those hiding behind the cloak of the Black Women’s Empowerment movement— should know better and be astute enough to realize that we are not one-dimensional, monolithic beings with nothing more to offer than how we look or how sexual we are or aren’t. Halle Berry can attest to the fact that sometimes it takes more than baring your rack in a movie to keep film goers riveted. Doing so on-screen doesn’t prove a Black woman’s sex appeal; any more than acting demure dictates whether she’s feminine enough. Barbara Jordan may not possess the superficial traits that will enable Viola to vamp it up on screen the way the project’s detractors would like her to, but her story is profound and to a lot of other people that is sexy.

Relevant Reading:

What About Our Daughters: Barbara Jordan Was a Politician Not a Pole Dancer

Bitch Media: Adventures in Feministory– Barbara Jordan

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Society likes to paint pictures of families and their dynamics as Norman Rockwell masterpieces.  Works of art that fit neatly into what people think or want families to be. This kind of thinking however, precludes the conversation regarding the prevalence of family dysfunction.

It is supposedly an ugly word – those family members that are bold enough to try to lay claim to some family issue are usually branded as trouble makers, ungrateful, misanthropes that should “try harder” at making their family dynamic work. This is due in part to people’s belief that all families are supposed to be perfect or damn near close to it.

Shaquan Duley's Now Deceased Children

The belief that every woman who gives birth to a child will make an ideal mother is another fallacy that – while mountains of evidence to the contrary exist, people refuse to accept. The thousands of babies born addicted to crack, neglected, and subjected to all manners of child abuse at the hands of family members, including their own mothers belies that theory of mandatory maternal instincts. There needs to be a dialog that allows for people   who do not have the family dynamic portrayed on Hallmark movie of the week or Lifetime – to speak without fear of reprisals or being branded negatively. There needs to be an understanding that becomes more widespread that recognizes that not all human beings are automatically born with empathy and a capacity to care in a positive way for others.  There needs to be an understanding that the experiences that happen in one’s life can create issues that preclude people from acting in ways that society can relate to and or understand.

Suffering in silence is what many members of dysfunctional family units are relegated to.  Some lucky souls might find there way into therapy where they can work those issues out, but so many more are forced to internalize and or self medicate in an attempt to cope with highly dysfunctional family members from mothers, fathers siblings, etc.  No one but the Duley family knows what issues the family has been facing and dealing with up to now. I would think that given the current situation with Shaquan, they would trade all the events of the last few years for some serious time spent in family counseling.

As to Shaquan herself, I do not personally know her. My heart as many others out there, felt pain at the loss of two beautiful children.  To hear her today get up  in court and plead guilty to the murder of her own two children weighs heavy on my heart.  In a horrible sense of time delay it would seem now, months later, she realizes the mistake that she made. There is nothing a court of law can do in the way of administering justice in this case. There  will not be any on this side of life.  No sentence can bring those boys back. No  punishment can equal the realization of knowing that you killed your own children  and tried to cover it up.

Some things have no reason or why and are inexplicable. Knee jerk reactions well up into emotional responses that are quick to condemn as evil that which defies our range of understanding.  Just because something defies one’s understanding, does not make it or in this case Shaquan Duley evil.

Lean not on your own understanding…..

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As usual, the self-proclaimed experts on relationships and issues surrounding them – including intimate partner violence – are the people who least understand certain components and variables in how complicated they truly can be. For example, I have always maintained my issues with people saying things like, “if x ever happened to me, then I would do y.” I contend that some circumstances require having experienced a situation in order to know how a person would truly act and/or react.

And then, there’s the case of Rihanna’s assault at the hands of Chris Brown. In my professional and academic experience, the case was not out-of-the-ordinary; in fact, the only major difference in this case and others was the amount of coverage and resulting opinions. Everything, from Rihanna’s rescission of the restraining order, to Christopher’s public behavior that was illustrative of someone who is abusive. In fact, if the readers of this blog are of the seemingly billions on the internet who do not understand the dynamics of why people abuse: physical violence is not the red flag or number one indicator. Abuse is about power and control, dominance over another person, and violence is just a manifestation of that controlling behavior.

In the beginning, when Christopher was charged with the crimes resulting from his violence toward Rihanna, there was a very strong division. There was the manifestation of #teamBreezy on twitter: young men and women who supported Chris Brown and pardoned his behavior. Several people radically blamed Rihanna, equating her being the primary aggressor of abusive behavior in the relationship because she’s a Bajan woman and women from the islands are (insert stereotype here). Several advocates for women’s rights rallied behind Rihanna, because..well, victim blaming only creates a world that is accepting of such behavior. Additionally, regardless of what any person does, nobody has a right to violate them in any way. Period. The photo of Rihanna and her injuries were heavily circulated throughout the internet, further victimizing her, and not long after the incident, every media outlet wanted her to speak about domestic violence – completely forgetting that she is a human being that had just endured a traumatic event.

And life went on, but it didn’t really; because, you see, every where on the internet were allegories of the incident. Christopher remained seemingly publicly unapologetic, and despite #teamBreezy being equally unapologetic, people often reminded him of the incident. This often resulted in twitter-tantrums and a career boost, except that one time where he cried on BET and danced himself back into the hearts of the CB-afficionados who were on the fence. Rihanna got flack for creating the songs “Rude Boy” and “Man Down”, and people continued to blame her apparent hypersexuality and hot-headedness for the incident(s) that occured. Every move either person made was reflective of either party being involved in intimate partner violence.

After the exchange of tweets, came the accusations, insults, minimization of the incidences of abuse. From what I observed, they were mostly directed at Rihanna being deserving of whatever may come to her in the future.

“I think it’s disgusting that @rihanna is featuring her abusive ex-boyfriend on “Cake”. She once said she wanted to be a role model. FAIL.”

“Well if Ike & Tina can always get back together as well as Bobby & Whitney, I guess its no harm @chrisbrown & @rihanna gettin back together.”

“Wow. What a message to send to victims of domestic violence. By collaborating with your abuser on your latest single. #rihanna”

“Rihanna basically is telling the world she deserved them LICKS…she was outta pocket with Chris. Smh”

“If Rihanna gets her head pucked off and you guys feel bad for her all over again you’re just as nuts as she is. Foolish!”

“Rihanna has zero self respect.. How much more desperate can u be to go back to a guy who beat you?”

“Passion marks are hickeys, bruises and scratches right? No. It’s that thing that was over Rihanna’s eye.”

Well, I will say, dear internet, that it is not uncommon for people who have been victimized at the hands of an intimate partner to return to that partner. No matter their socioeconomic or celebrity status. Despite a victim/survivor experiencing and successfully escaping a severe traumatic set of experiences (and in Rihanna’s case, much public shaming and embarrassment), there are several different reasons for returning. We could speculate all day about why Rihanna and Chris Brown are even communicating (like some on twitter are and have), but it’s unproductive. She could be communicating with him, having sex with or dating him because she misses him. That isn’t uncommon. She could also have been caving to the public pressure and judgment of whether or not her account of the incident was exaggerated, as many victims of intimate partner violence are made to feel. I’ve learned that asking “why does she stay” is an exercise in futility without addressing the real problems of intimate partner violence. Also, the public (and, perhaps, private) push for or against communicating with Christopher is not the proper route to address a victim of intimate partner violence because it takes away a person’s choice in any matter, only further victimizing them.

Moreover, the issues with the internet experts assessing the issues with Rihanna and Chris Brown fail to realize that the more important dynamic in the situation: whether or not Chris Brown has grown and learned. I know a lot about a lot, but I don’t have that answer. I’d like to think that I don’t have a personal opinion on the matter, either, because while Sir Breezy may have whined and shouted and aggravated the bejeezus out of me, I only have an opinion of his personality based on his behavior on public forums. I will say, though, that if he successfully completely the batterers intervention program that he was at one time required to go to, he may have promise. In fact, batterers intervention programs have shown some successes in eliminating re-offending, which in turn correlates with recidivism. This does not mean that Christopher will never strike another person again; however, it means that if he uses the techniques that he learned in dealing with abusive situations, he can acknowledge what behaviors are appropriate in maintaining a healthy, violence-free relationship with whomever. (I’d just like to remind the internet that they only tweeted each other and released the remix to a song, for crying out loud.)

Am I saying that we, the entertainment-fearing public, should just move on without worry for Rihanna’s safety? Well, no. Hardly. I am saying, though, that perhaps the uninformed and closed-minded should pipe down for a while. Being concerned for Rihanna’s safety without immortalizing her as a “victim” or typifying her into what you desire a true/perfect victim/survivor to be is, in my very humble opinion, the most appropriate route in dealing with whichever decision she chooses for herself. Having worked in situations with victims of intimate partner violence, I’d have been more surprised if the two never publicly addressed one another again; however, the attitudes that are being thrown around on the battleground of twitter are reflective of how people may deal with victims in “real” life. If you want to vocalize concern for Rihanna, do so and provide her with options and support without judgment and disapproval.

The post Chris Brown, Rihanna, & the ‘Cake’ Remix: Yes, Shut Up, & Let Them Eat Cake! appeared first on THE INTERSECTION | MADNESS & REALITY.

What I did witness, however, were Roland Martin’s tweets (complete with exchanges from a few of my very sharp followers) that were, in short, homophobic, heterosexist, and disgusting. Now, I wasn’t entirely surprised at Roland, given how he defended Tracey Morgan’s remarks that he would stab his son is he turned out gay, writing it off as mere comedy. Roland tweeted advocating violence toward men who engage in behavior that is not hetero-normative, quickly distinguishing the difference between a “real” bruh and all others.

I’d like to say, though, that this is not that uncommon a stance within the Black communities. Roland’s homophobia is dangerous and damaging particularly to the Black community; and I am in support of GLAAD’s position that language matters and that there should be no space on CNN for a pundit who puts the LGBTQQI community in fear of being assaulted for expressing themselves (or, in many instances, minding their business and not physically expressing themselves at all!).

In the past, I’ve discussed how oppressed people often become oppressors, even while still being oppressed. Roland Martin’s tweets are a perfect example of that. I am a firm believer of calling people on their shit when they are wrong. What I am not a firm believer of, however, is fighting bigotry with bigotry. For Roland’s hate-filled words, he was called a N-word, an ape, made fun of due to his weight (during which, I interjected because fat-shaming is wrong), and even told by a psuedo-celeb for effect that he hopes he is “assraped”. I get it — we’re hurt, outraged, and upset. I do not by any means support any of what Roland Martin said; I absolutely agree with my LGBTQQIA family that he has a history of inappropriate and quite disgusting homophobia. I feel very strongly, though, that you cannot fight ignorance with ignorance. That, instead of encouraging more bigotry and even more violence (yes, Perez, I am talking to you), we must combat that shit with intelligence. Otherwise, we’re just as small-minded as the promoters of bigotry.

I stand with GLAAD, and yet I think that this may be putting a band-aid on a larger problem. We absolutely have to address LGBTQQIA rights on a larger scale, and within the home. We absolutely must do so within the Black community. If you think that we have, I’d encourage you to check the comment section under the video of the young man who was recently attacked – by multiple with a tire, by multiple men – in Atlanta for being (presumably) gay*. It’s sad and beyond offensive; hate speech, especially that provoking violence, infringes on basic civil and human rights owned by any individual.

*If anyone in the Atlanta area knows who the parties in the linked video are, please contact law enforcement.

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